


The Tremblay Interlude

by orayofsunshine



Series: Close to What I'm Needing [3]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mentions of Panic Attacks, secondary Anne/Gilbert, we stan emotional intelligence and healthy communication in this family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orayofsunshine/pseuds/orayofsunshine
Summary: After hearing of the disaster that occurred at the Christmas Pantomime, Henry Tremblay sets off on a poorly thought out mission that alters the course of his and Josie Pye's lives.The third installation of the "Close to What I'm Needing" series, and the sequel to New Courage and (You Get My) Soul Right
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Josie Pye/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Close to What I'm Needing [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715890
Comments: 55
Kudos: 235





	The Tremblay Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is! I'm very, very excited to share this with you all. I hope you enjoy it!

He knew he must have looked like a damned fool, tired and rumpled from the long trip to Avonlea, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

“So, what business do you have with the Pyes?” Asked the kind man who had offered him a ride. He must have looked like a madman when he disembarked the train, asking anyone who would listen if they knew where the Pye family lived. He hadn’t thought twice when the man said he was headed that direction and he could take him, and Henry didn’t hesitate to shake the man’s hand and board the carriage. 

“Private business, I’m afraid.” He said simply, having heard enough about the vicious gossip in town from Gilbert to know not to tell anyone anything. Even though he suspected that the rumor of a rumpled vagabond stopping by the Pye house was sure to be circulating before the day was out. Sod the rumors though, he didn’t care. 

“You’re a brave man, attending to any sort of business with them right now. The Pyes are in some hot water at present, their younger daughter earned herself quite a reputation around Christmastime.” The man said with a chuckle, obviously not satisfied with the lack of an answer he got and dangling a carrot in front of Henry’s face, like he was trying to tempt him to ask for more information. 

Henry raised an eyebrow, giving a simple _hmph_ in response, hoping that his indifference showed that he didn’t care to hear anymore. Underneath the calm exterior though, the rage was swirling and simmering. How could someone talk so smugly and blase about such a terrible situation? It appeared he didn’t know Josie, or the situation, personally yet still felt inclined to give his opinion on it. Thankfully they lapsed into silence, and Henry sat painfully still, taking in the quaint village for a while before the man stopped the carriage in front of a brick house. 

“This is it, good luck.” The man said, giving him a tip of his hat as Henry climbed down from the carriage, thanking the man as he grabbed his suitcase from the back. With a deep breath he made his way up the path towards the house, stowing his suitcase in a bush before straightening his tie and smoothing out his hair, ensuring that he looked as well kempt as possible before knocking on the door. A young woman who appeared to be a housekeeper answered, offering him a kind smile as she asked what she could help him with. 

“I’d like to speak with Miss Josie, if that’s alright.” He said with a simple nod. 

“May I ask who’s calling?” She asked, a hint of skepticism on her face. 

“Henry Tremblay.” 

A moment later he heard footsteps thundering on the other side of the door, and the front door swung open to reveal an extremely frazzled looking Josie on the other side. She looked different from the last time he had seen her, more tired and slightly gaunt, an obvious result of the stress she had been under. Still, she looked just as beautiful as she did when they met the first time. 

“Henry...Mr. Tremblay,” She breathed, eyes wide as if she didn’t believe what she was seeing. “What on earth are you doing here?” 

He cleared his throat, having rehearsed his speech over and over again on the long train ride from Toronto. “I had planned to do this properly, keep up our letters for a while longer, then perhaps ask to court if it would be agreeable to you. But I arrived in Toronto yesterday to find Gilbert a married man, and he told me the whole story, then I got on a train and came straight here.” 

Her face went white as a bedsheet when he said that he knew of her story, and he prepared himself to catch her, should she faint. Luckily she kept her wits and cleared her throat, straightening her posture slightly. 

“You still haven’t told me why you’re here. I didn’t ask for your backstory.” She said snidely, and Henry just nodded in understanding, not letting her barbs sink in. 

“Miss Pye, I’d like to ask for your hand in marriage, if you’d let me.” He said. “I don’t have a ring to give you, I’m afraid to say, but I would remedy that as fast as possible should you say yes. You deserve something that shines.” 

“I-I can’t.” She said as she took a step back, looking like a spooked horse at his offer. “I’m… I’m used goods. You must know that, right?” 

“From what I was told, it seemed more like stolen goods to me. But I don’t quite like the way that sounds either, because that’s suggesting that you’re property. I don’t see you like that, Miss Pye. I never have. I told you I’ve been thinking of asking to court you, I didn’t lie about that. I’ve wanted to ask since the moment I met you, but I held back so we could get to know each other better. That hasn’t changed now that I know what I know.”

“Mr. Tremblay…” She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and looking utterly torn. 

“I don’t expect anything from you, not right away, or ever if that’s what you would like. In the marital sense, I mean. I won’t force myself onto you, and I won’t make you feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to. We can pretend like we’re courting, or that we’re just the best of friends. It’ll be like our letters, just two chums talking. I’ll sleep in a separate room for the rest of my life, if that’s what you wanted. But I can’t bear the thought of your family sending you away and you being all alone. I don’t care what has happened to you in the past. If you truly don’t want me, then I’ll walk away right now and go back to Toronto and never think of it again. But please, Miss Pye, let me take you away from here. Let me take care of you. Say you’ll let me, say yes.” He begged, wishing he could reach out and take her hands in his, to hold her close. He had been a reserved, quiet man his entire life, but there was something about the woman in front of him that brought out the passion within him that he didn’t even know he had. 

He stood there silently for a while, watching as she went to war with herself in her head, giving her time to consider his proposal. Finally she looked up at him, clearing her throat. 

“You’ll have to speak with my father. I suppose he’ll have to make the final decision. Would you like to come in?” She said, and Henry felt like he could do a jig with how joyous her answer had made him. She was practically saying yes, by letting him talk to her father. He gave her a small smile, taking off his hat as she stepped back to allow him in. 

“Wait here.” She said quietly, closing the door behind him. She disappeared down the hallway, leaving him alone in the foyer with his nerves. He snapped to attention when he heard footsteps coming towards him, and he squared his shoulders as the man he assumed was Josie’s father approached him with a skeptical look. 

“Good afternoon, sir. I apologize for my intrusion in your home, thank you for agreeing to speak with me.” He said politely. 

“And who might you be?” Mr. Pye asked, sounding just as skeptical as he looked. 

“Henry Tremblay,” He said, extending his hand for the man to shake. “I’m a friend of Gilbert Blythe’s, we go to the University of Toronto together. May I speak with you for a minute?” 

A pause. Another skeptical look, and then, a nod. 

The two men settled down in the sitting room, and Henry cleared his throat, jumping straight to the point. 

“I visited Avonlea this summer,” He said. “I met Josie at the fair and thought she was a very lovely young woman from the second I laid eyes on her. We’ve exchanged quite a few letters since then, and my admiration of her has only grown. Sir, I know you don’t know me, but my family has a horse ranch in Ottawa, and we make a good living for ourselves. I’ll be taking over for my father soon, too. I can give her a good life, if you would allow it. My mother has contacts within the higher social classes, connections could be made, she would want for nothing.” He said, thankful for the years of practiced nonchalance as he hid away his nerves and desperation, keeping his tone even and cool as he made his proposition. Mr. Pye leaned back in his seat as he finished, steepling his fingers. 

“What exactly are you asking for?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Mr. Pye, I’d like your permission to marry Josie.” He said simply.

“She’s not a virgin.” Her father said bluntly after being stunned into silence for a moment after Henry’s proposal. He crossed his arms over his chest as he said it, looking as if he had just dropped some bomb on him. Which, maybe to others it would have been, and it would have had them up and running for the hills. But he knew that and didn’t care one bit. 

“I’m aware of that fact,” Henry said simply. “And with all due respect sir, I don’t give a damn. I wanted to marry her before I knew, and I still want to now. In fact, I got on the first train here once I learned about the debacle that occured over the holidays so that I could at least try and save her reputation before she was sent away.” 

Mr. Pye was still giving him an uncertain, almost disbelieving, look. Henry took a deep breath, hardening his resolve as he continued onward. 

“You look like a smart man, Mr. Pye. Think of it this way, your standing in this town is in jeopardy at the moment. And here I am, saying that I can take care of your daughter and have her on a train to Toronto with me by the end of the week. In one fell swoop, your daughter is an honest woman and out of your hair so you can try and salvage your reputation. I couldn’t think of a better arrangement, could you?” 

Silence again. A thoughtful rub of the chin. An exhausted sigh. Then finally, 

“Josie, come in here.” Her father called, and as if she had been standing on the other side of the doorway listening, Josie materialized, keeping her head down as she stood in front of the two men. 

“This man here says he’s here to marry you.” He said with a bitter laugh, almost as if he didn’t believe it. “What do you say to this?” 

Henry watched as Josie swallowed, wringing her hands together nervously as she gathered up her courage to say something. 

“I think that would be an agreeable arrangement.” She said, looking up at Henry. He wouldn’t say that she had a smile on her face as she accepted his proposal, but there was a hint of something there. A spark of what she used to be perhaps, and hopefully it was something that he could tend to until it became brighter and brighter in his care. 

_____________________

“What will your parents say? When they hear that you’re married.” Josie asked several hours into the journey to Toronto. They had been married within two days of him proposing, and had almost immediately had to board the train to take them home. They had talked briefly about what she would do, if she wanted to go finish at Queens, but she was quick to tell him that there was no way she would ever be a teacher after what had transpired, so it was pointless to return. She would go back to Toronto with him to take care of the household as best she could. Henry was more than happy with the arrangement and looked forward to getting to know the woman more over the coming months. But that would come later. For now, spring term started on Monday, and he would be lucky if he was able to catch up on sleep before his classes began.

“My mother will probably come to Toronto and box my ears. She’ll be absolutely furious.” He said with a chuckle. “I think you two will like each other. It’ll likely be Easter before we visit Ottawa, so hopefully she will have time to collect herself by then.” 

“She’ll like me even when she knows I wasn’t a blushing bride?” Josie said self deprecatingly, raising her eyebrow at him. He raised an eyebrow back.

“I don’t suppose that’s my parents business, now is it?” He shot back. She just gave him a dubious look, crossing her hands primly in her lap before looking out the window, and they didn’t speak for a long while after that. 

____________________

“I’ll warn you now,” Henry said as they came to a stop in front of a nondescript door in the apartment building they had entered. He dropped his own suitcase to the ground, fishing through his pockets for a key. “This was a bachelor pad before winter holidays, so I apologize that it isn’t much to look at.” 

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Josie said, even though nerves had been bubbling low in her stomach since they boarded the train the day before. What was she doing? She had certainly lost her mind, deciding to marry a man she hardly knew and move across the country to live with him. Still, she supposed it was better than living with a batty old aunt that she had never met. 

With little fanfare, Henry pushed the door open and gestured for her to go inside. He was right, it was not much, and it was plain and slightly cluttered, but it was warm and would be sufficient for them. 

“Henry?” Came a familiar voice from behind one of the two doors that the apartment held. A moment later the door opened and Gilbert Blythe stuck his head out, recoiling in surprise when his eyes landed on her. “...Josie?” 

“Hello, Gilbert.” She said awkwardly, looking over her shoulder to see Henry paying the boys they had gotten to carry her trunk up to the fourth floor apartment, turning back to Gilbert. “Is Anne still here?” 

He shook his head, taking a step from his room, leaning against the doorframe. “Unfortunately not, she left for Nova Scotia yesterday, had to get back before term started. I’m sure she’ll hate to have missed you.” 

“I’ll have to write to her.” She said. “I told her I would let her know what became of me.” 

Gilbert smiled at her, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to receive it.” 

She never thought the day would come that she would be roommates with Gilbert Blythe, but it seemed like stranger things could happen. 

With her trunk put away in his room, Henry stepped into the common room, stepping forward to shake hands with Gilbert. 

“So this was your big crazy plan?” He asked with a laugh, and Henry simply shrugged. 

“You know I was sweet on her. I had to do something.” He said. 

“Well then, I guess congratulations are in order.” Gilbert said to both of them, giving Josie another soft smile. “And welcome home Josie, I know living with us two isn’t what you asked for, but hopefully you can grow to like it here.” 

She wanted to snort, even though it wasn’t polite or lady-like. There was a lot she didn’t ask for that she got anyways. It seemed like choices were not something she had the privilege of getting in life. 

“I’m tired.” She said, ignoring his statement in favor of turning to Henry, who nodded. 

“Me as well, let me change and I’ll leave you to it.” 

With that he disappeared into his room, shutting the door behind him. Josie shifted nervously, looking up to where Gilbert was giving her a strange look. 

“What are you looking at?” She asked harshly, crossing her arms defensively as she sneered at him. He simply held his hands up in defense. 

“Nothing at all, please forgive me. I’ll let you and Henry rest.” And with that he stepped back into his room, closing the door softly behind him. She exhaled when she was alone in the room, sinking down into the armchair that was behind her. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, and even though she was positive that she would not find sleep, all she wanted to do was curl up and pray to God that she would wake up from the nightmare she had been trapped in for the better part of a year. She took a deep breath, rubbing her temples as one of the doors creaked open. 

“Are you alright?” Henry asked, and she opened her eyes to find him in pajamas standing by the couch, a pillow and blanket in hand. She blushed at his state of undress, holding herself a little straighter before answering him. 

“I’m fine.” She said tightly, standing up and looking at the bedding he held. “What’s that for?” She asked. 

“...Sleeping?” He responded, dropping the pillow onto the couch before nodding towards the room he was in. “The bed is for you. There’s a lock on the door too, I won’t be cross if you use it.” 

Josie took a deep breath, biting the inside of her cheek as she nodded, keeping her eyes downward as she walked around the couch to the bedroom. She stopped at the threshold, hesitating slightly. 

“Sleep well.” She said quickly, not even looking behind her as she slipped into the room and closed it behind her, the lock sliding into place with a deafening _click._

_______________

The couch was uncomfortable as hell to sleep on and entirely too small, but Henry’s exhaustion proved to be greater than the discomfort, and slept clear through the afternoon and only woke the next morning when he heard a door open. He cracked open one eye, finding Gilbert quietly sliding out of his room. He winced sympathetically when he looked to the couch and realized that he had woken up his roommate. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered. 

“Don’ worry ‘bout it. Where ‘ya goin’?” Henry muttered, pulling the quilt tighter around himself. 

“Church, it’s Sunday morning.” He said, looking down to his suit. Henry sighed, shaking his head.   
“Don’t go.” he said, looking over his shoulder as he forced himself into wakefulness. His door was still shut. “Don’t leave her alone with me.” 

GIlbert looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “Why? Do you have any nefarious intentions that I don’t know about?” 

Henry rolled his eyes. “No, but she doesn’t know that, and she wouldn’t believe me even if I told her. She trusts you, so don’t leave her alone with me.” 

Gilbert thought about his statement, nodding as the logic set in.

“Alright, I’ll be in my room.” He said, turning and retreating back with little fanfare. Henry couldn’t go back to sleep after that, mind swimming with how much his life had changed. There was so much he needed to do. He needed to write his parents, to ask for his grandmother’s ring for Josie and to let them know that he had a wife in the first place. He knew he would have to talk to Gilbert soon too, let him know that he would not be returning to Toronto after the spring term. He wasn’t the least bit upset at the thought of having to leave school, in truth he had no real need for a degree but had gone to university to appease his father. But he would have to begin working, he had a family now- albeit a small one who fluctuated between being quiet as a barn mouse and as angry as a bull. Still, he would provide for her, and if that meant saying goodbye to Toronto and Gilbert, then so be it. He was sure Gilbert would understand, and part of him wondered what he would do now that he was married as well. 

Not wanting to be idle a moment longer, he got up from the couch and cleaned up his bedding, tucking it away by the window for when he would use it that night. Perhaps he would look into purchasing a cot for himself, better to spend the money than throw his back out by sleeping on the couch night after night. He quickly dressed in the clothes he had brought out with him the night before and tried his best to make himself presentable, wishing he had grabbed his comb and pomade before relinquishing his room to Josie, but he settled with wetting his hands with water to try and tame his hair before setting about making breakfast. 

He was just finishing up the toast when his bedroom door opened, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Josie step out dressed for the day, a hesitant look on her face. 

“Good morning, Josie.” He said. “How did you sleep? Would you care for some breakfast?” 

“I could have done that.” She said, skipping the pleasantries as she made her way to the range where he was standing. 

“Nonsense, I don’t mind. Take a seat, or if you don’t mind, give Gilbert’s door a knock and let him know that I made breakfast.” He said, frying up a few eggs for them. Josie gave him the skeptical look she had been giving him since he showed up at her door unannounced, but relented with his request and crossed the small room to knock on Gilbert’s door. 

Breakfast was a tense affair initially, with Henry being quiet by nature, the silence only amplified by Josie’s uninterested look as she picked at her food. Henry had noticed that she ate like a bird, choosing to pick at her food rather than actually eating any of it. She was a petite woman, that much he knew, but he only wondered just how slim she was underneath her clothes. He just knew his mother would be practically shovelling food into her when they met, and he made a mental note to bring it up in a letter before he brought her home. 

The tension only broke when Gilbert leaned forward, awkwardly clearing his throat as he reached for the preserves jar, his collar gaping slightly, offering Josie a peak underneath it. She snorted into her milk, her small burst of emotion catching the attention of both men. 

“Everything alright?” Henry asked, curiosity all over his face. 

“It appears Mr. Blythe enjoyed his honeymoon, that’s all.” She said. “It’d do you well to do up all of your buttons for the time being, Gilbert.” 

Gilbert blushed crimson, knowing exactly what she was talking about. 

“Such cheek, Miss Pye.” He chuckled, following her instructions as he buttoned up the top button of his shirt. She turned her nose up slightly to him. 

“Mrs. Tremblay, if you’d please.” She sniffed, and Gilbert just rolled his eyes at his old friend.

“May I ask what I’m missing in this conversation?” Henry asked, eyes flitting back and forth between the two of them, but inwardly glowing with pride hearing his wife say her married name for the first time. The two exchanged a glance and Josie took a small bite of her toast, chewing slowly before swallowing and responding.   
“I can turn around if you’re so modest.” She said, making a point of looking the other way as Gilbert blushed deeper.

“I don’t suppose you’re going to let this go, are you?” 

“No, I don’t think I will.” She said, not turning around. Gilbert chuckled, hands going to his collar as he unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing a multitude of love bites spread across his throat, collarbones and chest. Henry blushed, waving Gilbert off, silently insisting that he button his shirt up. 

“It looks like I’m not the only modest one in this household.” Gilbert laughed, putting himself to rights as Josie turned back around. “And it was a very lovely honeymoon, Josie. We both enjoyed it very much.” 

“It seems like you’ve married a wildcat rather than a woman.” Henry mumbled, the tips of his ears pink. Josie laughed once, and it sounded like the tinkling of bells as the quick noise filled the small apartment. Henry raised his eyebrows, not used to such a display from her. 

“Trust me,” she said, a devilish smirk on her face as she made eye contact with him. “I lived with Anne for a year, and everytime they were together she came back looking like she had gotten in a fight with an octopus. I can only imagine what she must look like now that she’s married, she’s probably faring much worse than Gilbert here.” 

“Is that truly what you girls talked about in that boarding house?” Gilbert blanched, eyes going comically wide. “Anne always said you girls stripped her down and inspected her, I thought she was joking.” 

“She wasn’t. We know all that and more, Mr. Blythe” Josie said simply, the barest hint of a smile on her face as she left Gilbert squirming in his seat, and Henry just watched on with a smile, feeling the smallest spark of hope flutter inside of him. 

_____________

_January 21, 1901_

_Dear Anne,_

_So much has happened since we last sat together in your kitchen in Avonlea. While I first believed that I would be shipped to the states or to another province to live out my days as the disgrace of my family, good fortune found me in the form of Henry Tremblay. He heard the story from you and apparently boarded a train and came straight to Avonlea with the intention of marrying me. It’s funny, in the end I did end up moving across the country, just not in the way I anticipated._

_You should know that my name is Josie Tremblay now, and I join you amongst the ranks of married women. I always thought as a little girl that I would feel different once I was married, but truthfully not much has changed. Well, inside of me, nothing has changed. I feel no different now than I did a week ago. (Well perhaps a little relieved to be out of Avonlea, which I’m sure you understand) Externally, my whole life has been flipped upside down. I never thought I would begin married life living in an apartment with my husband and another married man. Gilbert snores, did you know that? It's an absolutely dreadful sound that I can hear even through the walls and a stack of pillows pressed over my head, it's like a train is rumbling through the apartment all night! I would not blame you if you ended up smothering him in the middle of the night at some point in your marriage._

_Obnoxious roommate behaviors aside, I hope to find a routine here. I am still adjusting to the path life has thrown before me, but I fear that I am at best stumbling through it. I’m not sure quite what to make of Henry. As you know we had exchanged quite a few letters between when we met this summer and the present moment, and I always thought him to be a fine man. Of course, I never thought I would end up married to the fellow- I had set myself content to swear off men forever. He insists that he expects nothing of me in terms of marital responsibilities, but Anne… how can I believe that? He gave up his entire bedroom to me, he sleeps on the couch for goodness sake! And he says he has no problem doing this for the foreseeable future. He’s a man though, and men have desires, and they become cross when their desires are not met. He has done me and my family a great service by marrying me, but I feel like I am not upholding my end of the agreement even though I was assured that I would not have to. I just can’t imagine going through with the act again, it makes me sick to my stomach. But how long will it be until Henry gets upset with me? Truly he can’t live his whole life abstinent. Do you think he would take a mistress? I wouldn’t put him at fault for doing so, I could turn a blind eye to it. Even then, I’m sure it won’t be long before his parents start asking about grandchildren, what then? Oh Anne, my head spins at the thought._

_Please write back at your earliest convenience, it’s only the first day of term and both Henry and Gilbert have gone to class, leaving me here alone. It’s quite boring, I must say. I suppose I’ll begin cleaning as soon as I finish this letter, just to have something to occupy my time. This place could use a woman’s touch, that much is certain. Do you have any recipes on hand that you would be willing to send to me? I fear that I am not much of a cook, we always had people do that for us, so I never quite took to the skill. I can’t leave these men hungry, now can I? My status as model wife depends on it. (I hope you know I’m kidding. I don’t give a damn about being a model wife, and I’m sure you agree with me.) I look forward to hearing from you._

_Your friend,_

_Josie Tremblay_

_P.S. Don’t think I didn’t notice the parting gift you left on your husband. You’re incorrigible. Am I correct in my assumption that you are much worse off than he is?_

_____________

_January 29, 1901_

_Dear Josie,_

_What remarkable news! Can I offer you my congratulations at your marriage? I had the sneaking suspicion of what Henry was up to when he all but sprinted out of the apartment upon hearing your story. I truly believe he carries a great deal of affection for you, he traveled across the country just for the chance to ask for your hand without a single moment’s notice! From what I know of the man, he is very calculated and thoughtful about what he does, so to see him making such a rash decision was quite shocking, to say the least._

_I am quite aware that Gilbert snores, it is quite possibly the only thing I would change about him, if I could pick anything. It drives me absolutely mad! It is good to know that when the inevitable moment comes and my sanity breaks, that you will still be my friend- murdered husband aside. (Also, you are correct in your assumption. My bosom looked absolutely scandalous for quite some time after I left Toronto... Pardon my frankness, but let me say that I was_ _very_ _relieved to flower this month, who would have thought I’d ever say such a thing! But truthfully I was slightly worried that I would end up pregnant from Gilbert and I’s time alone in Toronto. The man is insatiable, I tell you!) Please don’t torment my poor husband too much about it though, he’s much too modest. His heart would surely give out if you teased him. Us girls always shared a little too much with each other, I’m sure him and Henry don’t make a habit of speaking about things as freely as we all do._

_In regards to your obligations (or lack thereof) as a bride, I say take Henry at his word. If he has promised you that he will be celibate, then believe him and don’t look relentlessly for a hidden motive. He is a man of character, and I would be shocked and appalled if he tried to force himself on you. And if he ever does get insistent, go straight to Gilbert and he will make sure Henry is reprimanded heavily for his behavior. But Josie… and I hope you aren’t cross with me for saying this… but if you are to spend your life with this man, do you think it would ever be possible for you to grow accustomed to the idea, perhaps? I know your history makes you less than eager to participate, but that is because you have only experienced the perverse nature of it. I’m not suggesting you do anything, you are the master of your body, and if you remain firm in your desire to never touch another man, then I support you wholeheartedly. But I would like for you to consider the idea that with mutual trust and love, that the experience can be different than what you experienced. Think about it. That is all I ask._

_At any rate, I hope you are not absolutely bored to tears, and don’t be afraid to tell those boys what for! It will probably do them a world of good having a lady in the house. Can you imagine not even having curtains? It’s truly a miracle that the two of them survived so long on their own, the fools. I’ve included some recipe cards, perhaps once you get acquainted with some of the ladies in Toronto they would be willing to share some of their favorites with you as well? I hope you are finding many kindred spirits there. I hope to visit sometime in late March, I hope that the dreary apartment will be transformed under your care by then!_

_Love,_

_Anne (Shirley-Cuthbert) Blythe_

_P.S. You are right, I am like you in that I do not give a hoot about being a model wife. I am only concerned with being the best Mrs. Blythe I can be. Everyone else’s opinions be damned._

_______________

_January 29, 1901_

_Henry,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, I trust that Gilbert was able to follow my instructions in getting this letter to you discreetly. I hate keeping secrets from Josie, but I felt it necessary to write to you and tell you a few things. Make sure that this letter does not make its way into her hands, I fear she would be cross with both me and you, and possibly Gilbert as well, should she know that we were talking about her without her knowledge._

_Anyways, let me start off by congratulating you on your marriage. I think it took a tremendous amount of bravery to do what you did, and I can not thank you enough for it. I hope married life is treating you well so far, and that your joy only continues to grow with each day that passes._

_Now, having lived with Josie and experienced first hand the trauma of that horrid night of which I’m sure you know that I am referring to, there are a few things you should know._

_1) Josie has night terrors, if you haven’t already figured that bit out. Don’t be alarmed if she appears exhausted frequently or if you hear screaming from her room at night. I understand that you two are not sharing a bed at the moment, but should the moment ever arrive, I thought you should be privy to that. From what I understand, they were getting better and less frequent as of fall term, but it would not surprise me if they were more common after the stress of Christmas holidays._

_2) She also gets spells of panic, where she struggles to breathe and becomes distraught. I am warning you now, unless she permits it, do_ _not_ _try and touch her during these spells. You might think that you are consoling her, but she will lash out and could hurt you, and you will potentially make the fit worse. Help her slow her breathing, and get her a glass of water and everything else she requests when it has passed._

_3) You have probably noticed this, but she doesn’t eat very much. Don’t get too frustrated with her, she has actually been doing quite well on that front. It seems like this will be an issue that time will heal, just be delicate when bringing up the subject._

_That is all I have to say for the moment, but I will leave you with this: I trust you Henry Tremblay. Gilbert thinks very highly of you, and his opinion aligns with mine. I believe you to be a good man, and a good man is what she needs. She doesn't trust you at the moment, but I believe that if you are kind and gentle with her, that one day you two can have a happy, loving marriage. And if you prove to not be the kind of man I believe you to be… well then I suppose you will have me to deal with, after Gilbert of course. He has become very protective over Josie even before he knew it was her he was protecting. Do not let me down, Henry._

_Warm Regards,_

_Anne Blythe_

_______________

The first few days in Toronto were incredibly lonely. Josie didn’t know anyone or where anything was, so she was afraid of venturing out even to go to the general store for fear of being lost. She spent the first day of term cleaning, washing all of the linens and scrubbing the baseboards. She had not cleaned a day in her life, but there was something quite cathartic about wiping away the built up dust and grime away. Henry returned home first in the afternoon, catching her just as she was hanging the laundry up to dry. She jumped slightly, not expecting the intrusion, but relaxed slightly when she realized who it was. 

“Oh, hello.” She said, silently cursing over the fact that she tensed up in the man’s presence despite the fact that he had been nothing but kind to her. 

“Good afternoon.” He replied, taking off his hat and hanging it by the door. He glanced around the apartment first, taking in the pristine state that it was in before turning back to Josie. Her hair was tied back in a bun at the nape of her neck, but some strands had escaped amidst her work, leaving the blonde hair to delicately frame her face. Her clothes were rumbled and dirty from the vast amounts of cleaning she had obviously been doing with him gone, and despite her less than put together state, Henry couldn’t help but be blown away by her beauty. 

“You didn’t have to do all of this. Gilbert and I shouldn’t be so shameless with our mess.” He apologized, and Josie waved him off with a flick of her wrist, hanging the last sheet up before drying her hands off on her apron. 

“I didn’t have anything else to do all day, it kept me from being bored to tears.” She said simply, staying rooted in her spot across the room from him despite the fact that her task was complete. Henry coughed awkwardly, still wholly uncertain with how to interact with his wife. 

“You could have gone for a walk, or to the store. There’s a lovely cafe down the street-” 

“You forget that I have no idea where I am.” She said quickly, crossing her arms over her chest. “If I were to leave the apartment I would never find my way back. I’m a stranger to this town, a canary locked in a cage.” 

Henry blushed, realizing that she was right. 

“I’m so sorry Josie, it was terribly irresponsible of me to not get you comfortable with your surroundings here.” He said, feeling horrible as he pulled his messenger bag from around his shoulder to set it on the table. “May I take you for a walk then? It’s a lovely day, you could get changed and then I’ll show you around the neighborhood.” 

Josie looked at him hesitantly for a moment before nodding, wiping her hands on her apron and making her way past him to change. 

Within a few minutes they were locking up the apartment and headed down the streets of Toronto, Josie lightly holding onto Henry’s arm as he pointed out various stores and landmarks for her to commit to memory. 

“Perhaps we could begin walking together every afternoon when I’ve finished class for the day? And when you feel comfortable leaving on your own, let me know and I’ll leave my key behind for you to use.” Henry suggested, and Josie thought about it for a moment. It seemed like a simple enough plan, and she was enjoying the cool, fresh air over the stuffiness of the apartment. 

“I suppose that would work.” Josie said, her expression unreadable as they continued forward. 

They settled into a routine then of Henry going to class, Josie cleaning or doing laundry while he was gone, and then going on a walk through town in the afternoons. It seemed like Henry had a story for every corner of Toronto, he was always pointing out buildings or areas and making a comment about them. Sometimes it was simple things like which cafe had the best cup of coffee in the city, and other times he would pull her through a short cut and warn her to never take it if she was travelling on her own. She quickly found herself being able to figure out where she was, and by the end of the week Henry was letting her lead them home, smiling proudly at his fast learner. 

One afternoon he took her further than they had ever gone, and as they approached a store front he stopped and turned to her. 

“Close your eyes.” He said, a hint of a smile on his face. Josie raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You’ve gone mad if you think I’m doing that.” She said, voice flat. 

“Oh, come on, Josie.” He teased, nudging her gently. She couldn’t help but blush at the nickname, but shook her head firmly as anxiety started creeping into her, making her feel antsy and tense. 

“Henry Tremblay, I am not closing my eyes and letting you lead me anywhere, I am wholly uncomfortable with that. Now stop this nonsense and tell me where we are right now.” She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest as she took a step away from him. 

Henry’s heart fractured a little in his chest at her shift in demeanor, and he kicked himself mentally, seeing that his lack of thought had brought her distress. There were moments where he was enjoying her presence so much that he forgot that his wife was no ordinary woman and needed to be treated with extreme care and understanding, and the reminders of Josie’s traumatic past broke his heart every time. 

“I’m sorry,” He said remorsefully. “I wasn’t thinking, and I can see now that this probably makes you terribly nervous. I wanted to surprise you, but that isn’t how it was perceived so I’ll tell you where we are. The confectionery that I bought the fudge I gave you for Christmas is just around the corner, I thought we could get a special dessert for surviving our first week of classes... and marriage. If you’d like.” 

Josie relaxed slightly as he explained his plan, and hearing it she couldn’t deny that he was making a sweet gesture. She looked up at him and gave him the best smile she could, even though she knew it probably looked much more forced than she would have liked. It was the best she could do though, and Henry seemed to relax as well as he offered his arm once more. 

“I’m not a fan of surprises.” She said simply as they turned the corner, the sickeningly sweet smell of sugar already hitting their noses as they approached the store. 

“Duly noted, dear.” Henry said with a chuckle as he reached the door handle and let them into the warm, sweet smelling store. 

___________

Sunday morning was Josie’s official debut to Toronto society, and she was horribly nervous. Would they know what had happened to her? Would they see right through her sham of a marriage and know that she was nothing but a harlot with a shady past? 

She had been a permanent state of nausea since she realized what the day would hold when Henry pulled out his Sunday suit the night before, and her anxiety had put her in an absolutely foul mood. Of course she would not be in the mood to speak to people at the exact moment when talking to people was vital for her success as a woman of society. 

Henry was kind as always, offering her his hand as they made their way to the church and never leaving her side as she followed him and Gilbert to their usual pew. She tried to ignore the looks that she was receiving, keeping her eyes locked forward on the minister, but she knew that everyone was looking at her and it only served to make her feel more ill. She couldn’t say what led her to reach out and take Henry’s hand in hers, but something about his large, warm hand wrapping around hers without an ounce of hesitation that made her feel more grounded and secure than she had in a very long time. 

Even after the service was over and they rose from their pew, Henry still kept his hand locked with hers, giving her a small smile of encouragement as the inevitable tidal wave of curious churchgoers approached them. The first was a middle aged woman, probably around her mother’s age, who had a polite smile that reminded Josie of Rachel Lynde. 

“Good morning Henry,” the woman said kindly, even though Josie saw straight through the facade. How long would it take for her to get to the topic that she was actually interested in? 

“Good morning, Mrs. Miller, how do you do?” He asked, giving the woman a polite nod. 

“Just fine, thank you for asking.” She said, keeping her answer short as she turned slightly to face Josie. “And who might this beautiful young lady be?” 

“This is my wife, Josie. We recently got married over Christmas holidays.” He explained, and Josie could have cried with relief that Henry was answering for her. Of course, part of her was annoyed that he was having to take care of her in any capacity, but the other more dominant half of her was too nervous to say anything. 

At the new parcel of information, the older woman perked up, thoroughly intrigued. 

“Well congratulations! That’s such wonderful news.” She said brightly, extending her hand outwards toward the blonde. “Clara Miller, so lovely to meet you, Mrs. Tremblay.” 

Josie gave her a weak smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Mrs. Miller.” 

Clara kept her smile on her face, though her expression shifted ever so slightly to intrigue as she turned her attention back to Henry. 

“I wasn’t aware that you were courting anyone,” She said. “You should have told us you were engaged, the other ladies and I would have thrown something together to celebrate. Poor Gilbert must have been upset to be kicked out of the apartment.” 

“It was a very quick affair actually, and Gilbert is still residing in the apartment with us,” Henry said smoothly, and Josie’s stomach dropped as the woman’s eyebrows shot up, looking surprised as she glanced at Josie, her eyes flickering down to her midsection for a split second before darting back up to her ace. She could have thrown up at the woman’s assumption, and without thinking she blurted out the first excuse she could think of. 

“My father died.” She said suddenly, surprising herself, Mrs. Miller, and Henry with her sudden declaration. Her face burned as she cleared her throat, pulling herself together quickly as she tried to explain her outburst. “It was… very sudden. We were not expecting it, and my mother was planning on moving us to the states to live with her aunt following the sale of our home. Henry and I have been courting quietly since this past summer, and he couldn’t stand the thought of me moving away and never seeing me again, so we married quickly so we could stay together.” 

Mrs. Miller gasped as Josie told her fib, resting a hand on her chest in shock. She couldn’t help but feel relieved that her lie was taken and believed without complaint. “My word, you poor thing! It looks like you chose a good one then, Mrs. Josie. How noble of you to rescue your sweetheart so suddenly, Henry!” 

Henry just nodded, squeezing Josie’s hand lightly. “Of course, I’d do it a thousand times over if need be.” 

Josie blushed at the romantic comment, and she wished she could have pinched him or stomped on his toes for saying something so bold. Instead she just ducked her head in a vain attempt to hide her blush. 

“Well, it just won’t do to have you trapped in that bachelor pad all the time, now will it? I really must introduce you to some of the other ladies, could I steal you away for a moment?” Clara asked, not waiting for Josie’s response before the woman was looping an arm through hers, tugging her out of Henry’s grasp and through the crowd. She sent a worried look over her shoulder as she was dragged away, and felt incredibly relieved to see him trailing behind her. 

Ten minutes and an invitation to tea later, Josie was back by Henry’s side and she couldn’t help but take his arm again, clutching it tightly as he led them out of the church. 

“Are you alright?” He asked after they had walked a few blocks in silence, Gilbert lingering a few feet behind them. Josie nodded stiffly, her fingers pressing in tightly into his arm. It was obvious that her answer was not entirely truthful, but Henry didn’t push or mention it, instead he took her answer for what it was and didn’t say anything else about it. 

Josie excused herself right as they walked into the apartment, making a beeline for the bedroom. She didn’t come out until that night, looking exhausted and worn down from the long day as she quietly made her way to the pantry, pulling a block of cheese and a loaf of bread from the larder. 

“I can heat up some stew for you if you’d like,” Henry said quietly from where he had been reading at his spot on the couch. “Gilbert made it, but it’s somewhat edible.” 

Josie kept her back to him as she cut a thick slice of bread and set it on her plate, doing the same with the cheese. “I’m not that hungry, this will be more than enough.” She said simply, putting the food away and sitting at the table as she quietly began eating. She heard Henry shuffling around and then a glass of milk was being set in front of her before he made his way around the table to stand across from her.

“Can I sit with you?” He asked, keeping his hands resting on the back of the chair. Josie raised an eyebrow up at him, tearing her piece of bread into little pieces even though it seemed like she didn’t realize that she was doing it. 

“I suppose you’re going to do it regardless of what I want.” She said dismissively, glancing down at her plate and picking up a small chunk of bread, holding it up to inspect it before popping it in her mouth. Henry shook his head. 

“No, I’ll only sit if you’d like me to.” He said, and Josie hummed. 

She had noticed that he always gave her a choice, even for little things, and he never showed any inclination about which choice he wanted her to take. It confused her to no end, and she lived in a constant state of worry that she would make too many wrong choices and that it would come back to bite her. 

She had thought about that idea a great deal over the first week of their marriage, and even before when they were still exchanging letters. He always played the little game of choices with her, and she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

She was still looking up at him from her seat at the table when another radical idea popped into her head: what if it wasn’t a game at all? What if he was genuine in his offering of multiple choices, where no choice was the wrong one? What if he simply respected her feelings and opinions, and that was all there was to it?   
The thought frightened her, and she cleared her throat as she swallowed the tiny piece of bread that she had been chewing for far too long. She would continue playing his little game, if that’s what he wanted. How long would it take for him to let her know that she had been playing wrong the whole time? 

“I think I’d like to sit by myself.” She said simply, and he responded with a nod and no indication of disappointment or malice. 

“I suppose I’ll go change for bed while you eat then.” He said simply, disappearing into his room- her room? Their room? It was hard to say who possessed the room for certain, and Josie didn’t want to spend her brain power deciphering _that_ particular puzzle, so she dropped the topic as she picked at her food, clearing most of the plate by the time the door opened again. She glanced over her shoulder to see Henry dressed for bed, blushing at his state of undress even though seeing him in his nightshirt had become a nightly occurrence. 

“You can have the rest of this, if you’d like. I’d hate to waste it.” She said simply, standing up from her seat and extending the plate out to him. He simply smiled and took the plate from her, brushing the bits of cheese and mutilated bread scraps into a pile before scooping the mixture up and dropping it in his mouth. It couldn’t have been more than a mouthful, and Josie felt embarrassed for not eating the last bit of food, but she couldn’t help the fact that she had no appetite. Better him eat it than the rats.

“Thank you,” Henry said. “I’ll wash this for you, are you done with your milk as well?” 

“I can wash my own dishes.” She said, ignoring his inquiry as she reached for the plate. 

“You’ve scrubbed this apartment from top to bottom over the past week, and done all of the dishes as well. I kind of miss washing up, truthfully.” Henry said with a playful grin, holding the plate over his head and far out of her reach. “Please don’t deprive me of such a joyful activity.” 

She simply snorted at his ridiculous statement, crossing her arms over her chest and craning her head upwards to engage in a standoff with him. He was a great deal taller than her, and had a sturdy build that was mildly intimidating to her, yet he never used his size as an advantage against her (that is, until this moment when he used it to be a stubborn ass). He just raised an eyebrow up at her, looking thoroughly amused by her stubbornness, and after another moment she relented with a huff. 

“Fine, if you really must do my dishes I guess I can’t stop you. I’m going to bed.” She said dismissively, sticking her nose up to him as she stepped around him to march to her room. She hesitated slightly when she reached the door, turning around to face Henry, who was looking at her with a dopey smile that made her stomach twist uncomfortably. “You can finish my milk too, if you’d like. And stop looking at me like that.” 

Henry just chuckled, shaking his head at her slightly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said, the grin never leaving his face. “Goodnight, Josie.”

She said nothing, instead she gave him the same wary look she always did and slipped into the bedroom without a word, locking the door behind her with a soft _click._

___________

_February 1, 1901_

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_I suppose there isn’t a good or gentle way of telling you this, so I won’t dally. On January 18, I married a wonderful woman named Josie Pye. I’m sure this news is a complete shock to the both of you, and I understand that you both will surely be incredibly angry with me, but there were unique circumstances that led me to making this choice, and I do not regret it in the slightest. I have known Josie since last summer when we met while I was visiting Gilbert in Avonlea, the two grew up together and I was smitten with her from the moment I first laid eyes on her. She is an incredibly intelligent and hardworking woman with a good head on her shoulders. She’s quick as a whip, too. She actually reminds me a great deal of you, Mother. I hope that in time you will be able accept her as a part of our family, as I have accepted her as mine._

_Now for a few practical notes for the coming months:_

_First, could you send me grandmother’s ring in your response? I always planned on giving it to my wife, but did not anticipate needing it so soon._

_Second, I will finish out this term at the University of Toronto, but come summer I plan to begin working alongside you full time, Father. I have learned a great deal here, but it is time that I start my vocation so I can provide for my family. Also, speaking of family, I want to assure you that Josie is_ _not_ _expecting. That is not why I married her, so please do not worry about things on the subject. Both of us were chaste prior to marriage._

_Third, in relation to the last point, when Josie and I move back to Ottawa in May, I would like for us to move into the small house. I know it has not been used for some time, but would it be possible to have it prepared by then? It seems like the most logical choice for us to live on our land so that I could easily work alongside you, Father, and to have Josie close to you and the girls, Mother. She has a keen interest in clothing and fashion, perhaps that is something the two of you could bond over?_

_Lastly, I will be bringing Josie home with me for Easter, so you have well over two months to prepare yourselves. If you must yell and be angry at me, then I will accept the consequences of my actions without hesitation, but I ask that you do not do it in front of her. While she is an exceptionally strong woman in many ways, circumstances prior to our marriage have left her very fragile in others, and I could not bear it if our quarreling upset her. While I know I am in no position to be asking anything of you two right now, this is my one request that I wish to be granted without question._

_I love you both very much, and it makes my soul weary knowing that I have undoubtedly upset and disappointed you with my actions. I just pray that you will one day be able to accept and understand what I have done. I love you both dearly, and I anxiously await your response._

_Your son,_

_Henry_

_____________

_February 10, 1901_

_Henry,_

_Does it bring your joy knowing that your letter made your mother cry? I thought I had raised you to be a better man than that. I liked to believe that you would not make such rash and hasty decisions such as this, but I suppose I was wrong. You are correct in your assumption that we are upset. What on earth happened in between us seeing you off to school on the 14th and you being married four days later? If you have known this woman for the better part of a year, why have you not said a word about her to us? Did you not see it important to consider the opinions of your family when choosing a wife? Your lack of consideration for us is highly disrespectful and deeply troubling._

_Despite all of this, I have also raised you to be a man of honor and integrity, and while I do not understand why you have made the choices you have and am not happy with them, ultimately, I must trust your judgement. If you say that unique circumstances pushed you to this, then I will withhold forming any true opinions until you bring your wife to visit._

_Do not mistake acceptance for forgiveness, son. You will have to answer to both your mother and me for this, and we expect a clear answer. I will oblige your request to have our conversation privately, but know that the conversation will be unavoidable._

_Regardless of how she joined our family, your Josie is a Tremblay now, and we have always taken care of our own. While your mother is still distraught, she would like to know more about your bride. In her words, “leave no detail unsaid”. The least you could do is send your mother a very lengthy letter telling her all about her. To be clear: that is something that is expected of you, not requested._

_I’ve taken the liberty of telling your sisters and brother of your nuptials, I’m sure you can expect a very impassioned letter from Ida any day now. You might need to fear her more than your mother and me, she was in quite a state when we told her the news. It would do you well to write to her soon, or else she might be showing up on your doorstep demanding answers, newborn and all in tow. So do your niece a service and just write her a damn letter, Henry._

_I’ve sent your grandmother’s ring, as requested. I hope the new owner of it will embody the grace, poise, and kindness of its previous one._

_We’ll begin cleaning and preparing the small house for you as soon as we are able. If all goes as planned it will be ready when you and Josie arrive in May. I’ll have Florence prepare your room in the big house when you visit in April for Easter. I look forward to meeting my daughter-in-law then._

_Your father,_

_Samuel Tremblay_

**_P.S. Henry, would you please include Josie’s measurements in your next letter? I’d like to make her a dress for Easter._ **

**_Love, Mother_ **

_____________

The routine that they found continued, and the days and weeks melted into each other just as the snow on the ground fell and melted back into the earth. Henry and Josie continued with their walks, even though she had long since gotten her bearings and could venture out of the apartment by herself without fear of getting lost. Despite that, she didn’t object to their outings, and though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, she quite liked the time she spent with Henry. Something about her set her at ease, and that fact alone also set her on edge. Comfort also equated to danger in her mind, and the paradox of it all made her head spin. (That’s why it was easier to feign indifference, so she didn’t let him in on the fact that she was somewhat fond of him, as much as she wished she wasn’t.) 

She hadn’t made any friends, not like the girls back in Avonlea, at least. She had not spoken directly to any of them, save for Anne, since the night of the Panto when her life had been unrooted, even though she had a stack of letters shoved in the bottom of her trunk from them, though she hadn’t read any of them yet. She didn’t have the courage to see what they had to say to her, and the anxiety that she felt just seeing them was enough to scare away any thoughts of opening them. 

It wasn’t the same, but the closest thing she did have to friends were the ladies from church. They were nice enough, she went to Clara Miller’s house every week for tea and was sometimes visited by one of the ladies at the apartment, and she was always grateful for the company and treats they brought. 

“Tired, Josie?” Minnie Garber asked as the blonde hid another yawn behind her hand at one of their weekly teas, a sly smile on the older woman’s face as she took a pointed sip from her teacup. 

“A little.” Josie said simply, hoping if she kept her answers simple the subject would be dropped. She knew that she looked tired most of the time, and she didn’t like when attention was called to it. 

“Poor thing looks positively exhausted,” Clara added with a titter, giving Josie a pat on the hand as she leaned in slightly. “Do we need to speak with Henry about giving you a break to let you sleep? Trust me, they might say they can’t go a night without it, but I assure you he’ll survive.” 

Josie blushed at the brazen comment, her whole face going hot with embarrassment as the small group of women hooted with laughter. 

“Oh stop it Clara!” Emma Beaulieu chastised through her laughter. 

“You’re so naughty!” Bessie Young added. 

Josie just sat there, wishing she were anywhere else so she could escape the mortification. She hardly knew the women around her, and they all varied widely in age, with Josie being the youngest at eighteen and Minnie Garber the oldest hitting somewhere in her early sixties. 

“Leave the poor thing alone,” Minnie said, coming to her defense. “I’m sure we all remember the first few months of our marriages well enough. Don’t worry dear, he’ll calm down eventually.” 

“You hope, it’s been a year and I’m still waiting.” Emma snorted into her cup. She was only a few years older than Josie and proximity in age alone made her the woman Josie felt the most at ease with save for Minnie, who fended off the other ladies when they got to be too much. 

Josie finally worked herself up to chuckling at the suggestive comments, pretending like she actually knew what the other women were talking about. 

“I suppose I’ll just have to nap when he’s in class, until that time comes.” She said tentatively, praying that her response was adequate. Thankfully it was, and it sent the group into another outbreak of laughter. 

“You’re so tight lipped about all of this Josie,” Bessie teased lightly. “Give us old biddies something to gossip about.” 

Maybe in another life, Josie would have been more willing to share. Truthfully the situation wasn’t all that different from the times she and the other girls had gathered in Diana and Anne’s room at Blackmore house, eager for whatever news Anne would give them about her and Gilbert’s trysts. But this was different. She had known her friends her whole life, and the women in front of her she had met only the month before, so she was much less inclined to tell them anything about her life. Not that she had nothing of worth to tell the church ladies about her loveless, unconsummated marriage anyways. 

“Can you at least tell us if Henry is a... _proportional_ man?” Clara asked with a titter, and in that moment she reminded Josie a little too much of Jane. 

Josie blushed horrifically at the question, wondering if it were possible for her to turn permanently red after relentless embarrassment. The other women didn’t see her bashfulness, or they didn’t mention it if they did, instead they guffawed over the question, looking at her expectantly. 

“Clara!” Bessie gasped, slapping the other woman’s arm playfully. 

“What? He’s a big, strong man, I’m just curious if he’s big all over!” Clara defended, sending the group into riotous laughter.

 _I don’t know the answer to that question._ She thought, feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of male anatomy. She managed to keep her cool though, settling back into her passive expression as she shrugged.

“It would be a shame if he wasn’t, now wouldn’t it?” She said, throwing a smug grin on to the end of it to sell her point. Having received the answer they wanted, the women guffawed and hooted, leaving Josie to sip her tea and pretend like she knew what all of the wifely talk was about until she could politely make her leave. 

____________

Henry knew his wife was in a foul mood the moment she entered the apartment, shutting the door behind her with much more force than was necessary. He looked up from the notes he had been studying, raising an eyebrow as she pulled her coat off and furiously began pulling the pins from her hat. 

“What did the poor door ever do to you?” He asked lightly, hoping she wasn’t in so bad of a mood that she would yell at him for the comment. Thankfully, she wasn’t and she gave him a scathing look as she threw her hat down on the table. 

“The ladies at church are a bunch of ninnies who are too nosy for their own good.” She huffed, giving him a dirty look despite the fact that he had done nothing to offend her that he was aware of. “They asked me today if your gentleman’s equipment was as big as the rest of you. Don’t worry, I told them you’re exceptionally gifted in the area, despite the fact that I don’t know a damn thing about what’s under your trousers, but I very well can’t let them know that, can I? So instead I sat there while they drank their tea and tittered about how I look so tired and exhausted, thinking that it’s because you don’t know how to stay off of me rather than the fact that I was raped a year ago and can’t get a damn wink of sleep at night!” 

With a loud shout of frustration she stomped into her room, slamming that door behind her as well, leaving Henry stunned on the couch at her outburst. 

Gilbert’s door opened a moment later, carefully poking his head out to look at Henry. “So I see that tea with the ladies at church went well?” 

Henry didn’t say anything to his friend, and Gilbert closed his door before Henry’s textbook could hit him, instead hitting the door with a loud _thud_ and a ruffle of paper. 

Later that night Henry knocked on the bedroom door, waiting until he got permission before entering. He found Josie sitting in bed, a sour look on her face as her knitting needles worked at a furious pace. 

“What?” She bit, not bothering to look up at him. Henry cleared his throat, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, leaving it cracked before taking another step closer. 

“I’m sorry the ladies got under your skin.” He said slowly. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

Josie snorted, setting her knitting in her lap as she arched an eyebrow up at him. “Unless you’re going to contradict what I said or tell them you’ll take a break and let me sleep, then no, I don’t suppose you can.” 

“I can talk to Mrs. Miller on Sunday, if you’d like.” Henry said, blushing and coughing awkwardly as he put his hands in his pockets. “In regards to contradicting you though... I can’t do that, per se.” 

Josie gaped at him in disbelief. “Oh, fantastic! You’re gigantic under the belt, aren’t you? Lucky me!” She exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from her words as she threw her hands in the air. “At least I didn’t lie to them without realizing it! That’s just rich! So what now, are you going to split me in half when you inevitably decide you’ve had enough of my nonsense and want to consummate our marriage?” 

“Please don’t talk like that.” He countered, stomping down the flash of frustration he felt. “It is incredibly insulting when you insinuate that I’m going to force you into our marriage bed. Don’t you know me well enough to know that I’m not that kind of man?” 

Josie simply huffed, picking up her knitting again and setting herself back to work. Henry sighed, taking another step towards her. 

“May I sit?” He asked, and when he received an indifferent shrug from the woman he sat down on the end of the bed, close enough that he could have reached out and held her tiny feet in his hands, if he wanted to. But he knew she would probably kick him like a spooked horse if he did, so he kept his hands to himself. 

“I am not the man who hurt you, Josie Tremblay.” He said slowly, his chest aching slightly at the sharp inhale from Josie when he brought up the subject, her actions faltering for a second before she was able to compose herself. Henry took her silence as a good sign and continued. “I won't pretend to know anything about the situation, but I do know myself and my character. You don’t trust me, you assume I have some ulterior motive, but I promise you that I don’t. When I showed up at your house in Avonlea, all I wanted to do was help you and get you away from a place that I knew was hurting you. All I want is to keep you safe and protect you, I vowed that to you when we got married and I meant it. I know we haven’t spent a great deal of time together face to face, but we aren’t strangers. I’m the same man that wrote you all of those letters. Didn’t you trust that man, even a little bit?” 

They lapsed into silence then, the only noise in the room being the steady _click_ of knitting needles colliding as Josie knitted away. She was avoiding the question, Henry knew, but he didn’t try to hurry her. Instead he sat patiently, keeping his hands in his lap as he waited for her to respond. Finally, she set the knitting needles down and sighed, keeping her gaze down on her hands. 

“I find it hard to trust anyone anymore.” Josie admitted weakly. “Billy is a monster for what he did to me, I know that. But....I still loved him. He was my first love, and I was naive. There were so many warning signs that I should have noticed and ignored because it felt nice being liked and wanted. I trusted him with everything in me, and then he hurt me, and I suppose that has messed with my head a great deal.” 

Henry just nodded to show his understanding, giving her the time to speak, not wanting to lose the vulnerability she was showing him. It was the first time she had opened up to him, and he would be damned if he opened his mouth and ruined it. 

“I know I can be mean, and unfair, and nasty and... I’m sorry.” She said with a heavy sigh. “I think part of me knows you aren’t the same, and you’ve given me no reason to think that you would be…” 

“But you’re wary.” Henry finished for her, and she nodded once in confirmation. 

“Incredibly.” She said with a heavy sigh. 

Henry sighed in suit, dropping his gaze to his hands, wholly uncertain of where to go from where they were at. Though he would never admit it, sometimes he wondered why the hell he married Josie. It seemed like an endeavor that always ended in frustration and dead ends on his part, and he frequently got to the point of almost losing hope. He hadn’t thought much about it when he got on the train to Avonlea, how things would work out between them, and part of him was still surprised that she agreed to marry him in the first place. He supposed it was wishful thinking to assume that she would immediately be as crazy for him as he was for her, and they would have an easy, happy marriage. The truth was that it was the exact opposite most of the time, and while he felt like some progress had been made, there were moments that their progress seemed only superficial, and he was reminded of the lack of trust Josie had in him, and it made his heart crumble like dust. 

“I don’t know what I have to do to earn your trust, Josie. Or if it can even be earned in the first place.” He said quietly. “But until I know the answer, I want you to know that I won’t be going anywhere. I’ll keep trying until you tell me to stop and that there’s no hope, or you ask me to do something else. Only your genuine, adamant rejection will stop my humble pursuit.” 

Josie was silent, keeping her eyes anywhere but him until she finally sighed quietly. “I think I’d like to take a nap now.” 

Henry’s heart fell slightly, wishing that the fleeting moment of vulnerability would have lasted longer, but he was thankful for the glimpse of it that he got. He stood and left without another word, praying that more progress would come quickly. 

____________

Henry was pulled from his sleep one night when the bedroom door quite literally slammed open, banging loudly against the wall. He was up like a shot on the cot that he had purchased after one too many nights suffering on the couch, looking around frantically as his heart pounded in his chest from the unexpected noise. He relaxed slightly when he noticed Josie at the sink, but his worry quickly returned when he noticed just how troubled she looked. 

“Josie, are you alright?” He asked carefully, voice thick with sleep. She jumped near out of her skin at the sound of his voice, the glass in her hand slipping from her grasp and shattering on the ground. Henry’s heart ached when he heard her whimper, and he was quick to stand up, flipping on a lamp to illuminate the space. 

“Don’t move,” He said. “I’ll put some shoes on and get the broom.” 

He was back just as soon as he was gone, and he ignored the sound of crunching glass under his feet as he made his way over to where Josie was still standing. He could see tear tracks on her cheeks, and his heart throbbed painfully at the thought of her being upset. 

“Josie, may I pick you up and get you away from the glass? If not, I can go get your shoes, but I’m afraid you could cut your feet trying to put them on.” He said carefully, remembering the warning Anne gave him to not touch her when she was upset. He watched as hesitation flash across her face, but it was gone just as soon as it arrived, and then she nodded. He took that as a good sign from her, and he carefully stepped forward, guiding her arms to wrap around his neck before he was scooping her up into his arms and carrying her over the mess to the couch. 

It was the first time he had truly touched her. He didn’t count the incredibly reluctant kiss from their wedding- if one could even call the mechanical action of them pressing their lips together a true kiss. Other than that, he offered her his arm when it was polite to do so and she would grab his hand when she got overwhelmed in public, but otherwise she gave him a wide berth. 

Having her in his arms, even for a brief moment, was everything he imagined it would be and more. He was able to lift her as if she weighed nothing at all, her petite body fitting perfectly in the cradle of his arms, her skin warm against his. She trembled slightly, still shaken up from whatever had pulled her from bed and the glass that currently still littered the floor, and he wished he could do more to soothe the timid young woman. 

“Stay here.” He murmured, and she nodded weakly, leaning forward to pull his quilt from the cot, wrapping it around herself like a small child with a security blanket. He wished he could have done more to comfort her in that moment, but he knew anything he did would only bring more harm than good. So instead, he set about fixing the things he could control, which at the moment was the broken glass that littered the floor. He worked quickly, sweeping up the glass and dumping it into a bin to dispose of later, doing another thorough sweep of the area just in case he missed any shards the first time. Josie sat on the couch quietly while he cleaned up the mess, not moving or giving him any indication that she was alright or not. Worry clouded his mind, and once he was satisfied that he had gotten all of the glass he poured her another glass of water, gingerly sitting down on the cot and extending it out to her.

She sniffled, hastily wiping away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand before she took the glass with shaking hands, lifting it to her mouth to take a careful sip. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” He asked carefully, and she took a deep, shuddering breath. 

“It was a year ago, tonight.” She said in way of explanation, keeping her head down as she did so. Henry’s heart clenched painfully in his chest at her admission, and he wished more than anything that he could reach out and wrap his arms around her. He had known that the anniversary of her assault was coming soon, but he didn’t have the exact date. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, folding his hands in his lap. “I know the last thing you want to do is talk about it, but if there’s anything-” 

“I don’t want to be alone.” She said quickly, keeping her head down and her eyes glued to her lap. “Could you just lay there, and I’ll lay here?” 

Henry nodded, more than willing to oblige any request that she had for him. 

“Of course, would you like me to go get your pillow?” He asked, and when she nodded a moment later he quickly went to grab the pillow and the heavy quilt from the bed, and when he reentered the room she was already lying on the couch, curled up in a ball with his quilt still wrapped tightly around her. He wasn’t foolish enough to ask her for it back, so he settled with gingerly sliding the pillow underneath her head when she lifted it up several inches, and settling down on his cot. He pulled the quilt from her bed around himself, immediately breathing in her smell, the scent intoxicating, making his head spin unexpectedly. He yawned, lying on his side to face Josie. Her eyes were closed, but he could tell that she was not asleep from the way her eyes flitted around underneath her eyelids and her short, uneven breaths. 

“Tell me something.” She said quietly. “Anything, I don’t care what.” 

Henry thought for a moment and then cleared his throat. 

“When I was my little brother Harry was little, Ida and Ruthie would use him as a human doll. My father used to throw fits seeing him in their old dresses and bows….” 

He kept talking, even when his voice grew sore and his throat was uncomfortably dry, he didn’t stop until Josie’s breaths evened out and her body relaxed on the couch, and then he kept his eyes on her until his body would not let them stay open a moment longer. 

The next morning, they didn’t talk about how she slept on the couch, only a few feet of space between the two of them, and they didn’t talk about it the next night when she walked out of her room wrapped in her quilt, pillow in hand. He told her stories just as he had done the night before, not stopping until she was asleep. The cycle continued night after night, with her sleeping on the couch and him talking and talking until she had drifted off. 

They didn’t talk about how the cot got closer and closer to the couch with every night that went by, until after a week and a half there was less than a foot of space between them, the chasm small but still impossibly wide. They didn’t talk about how Josie reached out to take her hand in his that night, lightly wrapping her fingers around his just moments before she fell asleep. 

“Josie?” Henry asked quietly after a week and a half of them sleeping so close together, yet still so far apart. Even though they had not talked about their arrangement, he had thought about it extensively from the very first night, and it had taken a long time for him to bolster the courage to propose the suggestion he had. 

“Yes?” She replied with a quiet yawn, her nose wrinkling slightly in an adorable way that made Henry melt. 

“Don’t you think it would be more comfortable for both of us if we slept in the bed?” He asked, not wanting to beat around the bush. Her eyes snapped open at his suggestion, looking utterly horrified by his suggestion. He cleared his throat, sitting up slightly. “I know you need your space, and I respect that, and if you think it is a crazy idea then we can continue this arrangement for as long as possible, but if you’d like to keep sleeping beside each other, I don’t see what would be so different between this arrangement and the bed.” 

“Because it’s a bed, Henry.” Josie said warily, looking at him with unrestrained skepticism. He sighed, understanding her hesitancy, because it was different being in a bed, as silly as it seemed. 

“What if we put up pillows?” He asked, and she raised an eyebrow up at him. 

“Pillows?” She asked with a snort, and he nodded. 

“Yes, pillows. We’ll build a little wall, that way there’s space between us. Would that make you feel better?” He asked, and after a few minutes of careful consideration she nodded, sitting up and yawning. 

“If I don’t like it, you’ll have to come back out to the cot.” She said quickly, and he chuckled. 

“That’s perfectly fine with me.” He said, and with that they moved into the bedroom, setting up the wall of pillows before draping the quilt over the bed. It was a little awkward as they slid into bed, but Henry quickly jumped into a story about the time Ida bloodied his nose and soon enough Josie was quietly laughing and drifting off to sleep just like every other night, their change in location barely an afterthought. 

After a few nights of them sleeping in their bed together, the cot retired to the corner of the living room, and Henry could have done a jig. As ecstatic as he was about the new development in his relationship, he was more excited for the luxury of a mattress more than anything. He had not slept in a real bed for three months, and while the cot had been more comfortable than the couch, it had still wrought havoc on his back and he was not sad to be trading it in one bit. _Good riddance, you stupid hunk of metal._

___________

As Easter drew closer and closer, Henry could tell that Josie was getting increasingly anxious about the whole affair. He had tried helping her as best he could by dropping lots of reminders about his family, how long his parents had been married, the birth order, Ida’s husband and his occupation, and by the time they were getting off of the train in Ottawa, Josie was ready to bite his head off. 

“Henry, I have finished my education, so if you try and quiz me about your family _one more time-_ ” She hissed up at him, her hand finding his and clutching it tightly, and from that action alone he knew her anger was hiding her anxiety. He held a hand up in surrender, conceding to her threat, as his eyes scanned over the crowd that bustled around the station. 

“Are you ready, dear?” Henry said, looking down to Josie, and her anger melted away to fear, and she shook her head weakly. 

“No.” 

“Well I see my father, so you better get ready quickly.” He chuckled, and he watched as her face went paler than it normally was, and for the thousandth time in their marriage he wished he could have done something to comfort her. Instead, he guided her forward, weaving them through the crowd until he had made it to his father. 

“Henry, it’s good to see you.” His father said, and Josie couldn’t help but clutch Henry’s arm tighter as she took in her father-in-law. Henry had described his father to her hundreds of times in preparation of their meeting, but nothing could have truly prepared her for the man that was standing in front of her. Henry obviously took after his father, that she knew from the moment she laid eyes on him. 

Samuel Tremblay was several inches taller than his son and just as broad, with dark hair that was graying at the temples and a few visible wrinkles from a life of hard work etched into the hard contours of his face. Where Henry was all smooth lines and rounded edges, Samuel was sharp angles and fierce edges. She had always felt small next to Henry, but his father was a massive man and she found that downright terrifying. 

“Good to see you too.” Henry said, sticking his hand out to shake his father’s hand briefly before looking down at Josie with an encouraging smile. “And I’d like to introduce you to my wife, Josie. Josie, this is my father, Samuel.”

Josie swallowed nervously, nodding her head politely as she stuck out her hand for him to take. “How do you do, Mr. Tremblay?” She said, her voice sounding much more timid than she wanted to be. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Josie. Henry has told us many lovely things about you, let me be the first to welcome you into our family.” He said kindly, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. 

With pleasantries and formalities exchanged, the trio set off to the coach, and shortly after were on their way to the Tremblay home. Thankfully, Josie was able to stay out of the conversation for the duration of the ride, listening politely as Henry and his father talked about school and the ranch. Henry kept her hand wrapped tightly in his, squeezing it gently every so often to remind her that he was there, each squeeze was a silent reassurance that she would be okay, even if she didn’t believe it. 

“You’re doing wonderfully.” Henry reassured her as they got out of the coach, squeezing her hand gently once more as she climbed out. She snorted, rolling her eyes at him. She hadn’t said more than six words since she got off the train, and the thought of facing the rest of his family was even more terrifying. She most certainly did not feel like she was doing wonderfully and was genuinely worried how she would survive the afternoon. 

His father excused himself to talk to the farmhand that had greeted them, allowing the two of them to go ahead to the house. They were barely through the front door when Josie was nearly knocked off of her feet by something barreling into her. She nearly jumped out of her skin at the attack, yelping pitifully as she stumbled backward into Henry as two skinny arms wrapped around her waist. She didn’t have time to look down to see what or who her attacker was before she was shoving them away from her, trembling weakly as she looked down at the floor to find a little girl staring up at her with a trembling, pouty lip and wide, tear-filled eyes. 

“Oh,” Josie said quietly, her face burning with embarrassment as she looked up at Henry in a quiet plea for help. Luckily, before he could say anything a tall, thin woman marched towards them, an eyebrow raised at the little girl. 

“Ethel Marie, have you lost all of the manners that I’ve taught you?” The woman scolded as Henry stepped forward to grab the little girl under her armpits, pulling her up from the ground to set her on her feet. 

“Josie, this is my youngest sister, Ethel.” He said with a chuckle, lowering himself down to one knee to brush the dirt off of the little girl’s pale yellow dress as she pouted at her affection being rebuffed. “Ethel, this is your sister-in-law, Josie.” 

“And I’m his mother, Lillian.” The older woman interjected, taking a step forward and extending her hand out for Josie. She prayed that God would be merciful as she took the woman’s hand and shook it, hoping that she couldn’t tell that her hands were shaking with all of the anxiety within her. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Tremblay. You have a lovely home.” She said politely, dropping her hand quickly to join hers together as she looked down at the little girl. “Hello, Ethel. I’m sorry I pushed you, you startled me.” 

“Josie doesn’t like hug attacks.” Henry said quietly, and Ethel pouted, wiping away a tear that threatened to fall as she sniffled. 

“Ethel, I think you’re forgetting to do something since you acted so rudely just now.” Mrs. Tremblay said pointedly, and Ethel sniffled once more before clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry for hugging you without asking. I will not do it again, I’m sorry.” She said as if she was reciting it, her tone suggesting that it was a phrase that she had repeated many times before. Josie smiled, finding something about the little girl incredibly endearing as she leaned down. 

“It’s alright, it’s very nice to meet you.” She said, offering her a weak smile as she held out her hand for Ethel to shake. The little girl shook it happily, her entire demeanor changing from pitiful to exuberant in the blink of an eye. Henry stood up to his full height, stepping forward to hug his mother. 

Josie realized then that she stuck out like a sore thumb in her new family. While her hair was light, her skin fair, and her eyes blue, the Tremblays- or at least the ones she had met so far, were the polar opposites. They all had dark hair and dark eyes, with tanned skin and strong and solid builds. Mrs. Tremblay was not bulky like her husband or son, but she was still taller than most women Josie knew, which only made her feel more petite. 

“Where’s Ruthie and Harry?” Henry asked as he took his place beside Josie once more. 

“They’re around here somewhere, I told them not to stray too far, but you know how Ruthie is. She’d be late to make a point, and Harry probably doesn’t even know what day it is. He’ll be shocked to see you here, even though we’ve been reminding everyone of your visit for weeks now.” Lillian said with a small roll of her eyes before she turned to Josie. “You two must be exhausted from the trip. Henry, why don’t you show Josie up to your room, I’ll round everyone up for tea, and you can meet us in the parlor once you drop off your bags.” 

With a nod of understanding, Henry offered his arm to Josie and led them up the stairs to his room, and he closed the door quietly behind him as they entered. 

“Are you alright? I should have warned you that Ethel can be...over-exuberant with affection.” He said, wincing slightly and kicking himself for not thinking of such a thing. Josie nodded, still shaken up as she perched herself on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“I feel horrible, how terrible of a first impression is that? I shoved your youngest sibling like she was a sack of potatoes!” She exclaimed, putting her head in her hands. The day was a disaster already, and it had only just begun. Henry chuckled, carefully sitting down next to her. 

“I promise you, my mother is probably downstairs right now getting into her about it, you have nothing to worry about. And Ethel has already forgotten about the incident, that’s another promise. My mother told me in one of our letters that Ethel has been beside herself with excitement since the moment she said we were married because of her new sister.” He chuckled, and Josie took a deep breath, feeling only slightly better from his reassurances. 

“I feel like I’m making a mess of things.” She admitted weakly, and he held his hand out, holding it a few inches in front of her, and after a moment she set her hand in his. 

“You’re doing incredible, Jo. I know that this isn’t easy, but you’re handling a very stressful situation with incredible poise.” He said, squeezing her hand gently. Josie snorted. She definitely didn’t feel like she was, but she felt inclined to take his word for it in this instance rather than fighting him on it She didn’t have the energy to try and oppose him, so she simply nodded and took a deep breath to gather her resolve. 

“Alright, let's go meet the rest of the brood, shall we?” She said, standing up from the bed and pulling her hand from his. If he looked disappointed at the loss of contact with her, she didn’t notice it on account of her already being halfway down the hallway before he had even stood up from the bed. 

_________

Tea was an awkward affair, to say the least. 

Ruthie Tremblay was fifteen and looked as if she had sucked on a lemon, carrying a perpetually sour look on her face and a defensive tone of voice. She had glared at Josie from the moment they entered the parlor, and when Josie offered her hand to shake when she introduced herself, Ruthie looked at it like she had drug it through a cow patty. 

Harry was eleven and though he seemed like a kind young boy, he also looked like he would have rather been anywhere but an awkward family tea meeting his new sister-in-law. 

“Ida will be here tomorrow.” Lillian had said as she poured for all of them. “I’m sure Henry has told you about her new little one, she’s quite the handful and didn’t want to go through the fuss of getting her out of the house knowing you two would be exhausted from the trip. I’m sure you’ll understand all of that soon enough when you have children of your own.” 

Both Josie and Henry tensed at the casual comment, choosing to take a sip from their cups rather than replying to her. 

“I’m sure she’ll be lovely. I’ve only heard wonderful things about her.” Josie said with a tight smile, and Ruthie snorted. 

“That’s because she’d probably kick Henry’s rear end if he said anything bad about her.” She mumbled, earning a sharp look from her mother, the _watch yourself_ being said loud and clear from her expression alone. 

“She isn’t wrong.” Henry chuckled quietly in his sister’s defense, but he shut his mouth too when his mother shot him the same look. 

“Please forgive my children, Josie. I can assure you I raised them to be more respectful and polite than they are behaving today.” Lillian said lightly, the sharp look still in her eye as she glanced at the two of them. “And I would like to remind _some_ of my children that even though they are bigger than me and married now, that I am still their mother and could pull them out of the room by their ear and give them a talking to, should I see it fit.” 

Josie snorted quietly at the very specific threat, giving Henry a sideways glance, and she filed away the slightly frightened look for later. _Henry is a mama’s boy. Duly noted._ She thought with a smug grin. 

“Tell me Josie, what did you parents think about you getting married so quickly?” Lillian said casually, changing the topic far too quickly for Josie to comprehend. She choked on her tea, setting in down on the side table as Henry reached out to pat her back lightly. She waved him off, catching her breath as he groaned quickly next to her. 

“ _Mother_ ,” He said in exasperation. “Could we please talk about _anything_ else right now? There will be time for this topic later.” 

“I agree with him, Lillian.” Mr. Tremblay said, speaking up for the first time since they had all sat down. He, like Henry, was proving to also be a man of few words. 

Though she didn’t look happy about it, she thankfully dropped the topic of their marriage and instead began asking about what life was like in Toronto since she had moved. Josie answered the questions as best she could, but was more than happy to sit back and let Henry answer his mother’s questions when it was appropriate to do so. Thankfully, the time passed quickly and Harry was up and out of the room the second Lillian called their housekeeper to clear the tea away. She hadn’t really spoken to the boy, he had stayed quiet the entire time, looking positively bored out of his mind. Josie couldn’t fault him for it, she didn’t really want to be there, either. (Of course, if she really had her way, she would be at Queens still, finishing up her teaching certification and would be visiting her own family for Easter, still being in their good graces. But she had gotten used to not getting what she wanted.) 

“Ruthie, Ethel, why don’t you take Josie out to see the horses while we talk to your brother for a little while?” Mrs. Tremblay said with a tight smile as the three young women stood, and Josie knew that it was not a suggestion. 

“Why can’t Henry take her later?” Ruthie complained with a whine, and a sharp look from the stern woman told the girl that her cheek was not appreciated. With a loud huff Ruthie turned on her heel, marching out of the parlor. Josie followed her, looking over her shoulder to where Henry was looking at her with concerned eyes, and she offered him the most hopeful smile she could muster before his mother shut the door behind her. 

“How old are you?” Ethel asked bluntly as they exited the house, practically glued to her side, all memory of their horrible first encounter forgotten. Josie jumped slightly when she felt the little hand slide into hers, and she looked down curiously at their connected hands, but she didn’t have the heart to pull away after already shoving her earlier in the day. 

“That’s rude, Ethel.” Ruthie said moodily over her shoulder, stomping ahead of them towards the large barn that stood behind the big house. 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Josie said quickly when Ethel deflated at her sister’s scolding, only to perk up slightly with her reassurance. “I’m eighteen.” 

“Henry’s nineteen.” Ethel said, and Josie couldn’t help but smile.

“I know that.” She said. “And turning twenty this summer, correct?” 

Ethel nodded with a little _mhm_ to confirm Josie’s statement. 

“And how old are you?” She asked, even though she already knew the answer from Henry’s seemingly endless information sessions that they had prior to the trip. 

“I’m seven.” Ethel said proudly. “But I’m turning eight in August! Will you be here for my birthday?” 

“Of course she will be. She’ll live here once Henry finishes school.” Ruthie interjected, and Josie bit the inside of her cheek to withhold a scathing comment. When she didn’t reply, Ruthie glanced over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Josie as she gave her an accusatory look. “Did _you_ finish school?” 

“I had a term left at Queens Academy in Charlottetown, and had I finished I would have had my teaching certificate. But then I married your brother and dropped out.” She explained simply. She had never truly been passionate about being a teacher, not like Anne had been, so her failure to complete her education was not something she had lost sleep over. There were quite a few other things that she lost sleep over, but losing her future career as a teacher was not one of them. 

Ruthie didn’t respond to her answer, instead she gave her an indifferent _hmph_ and kept marching towards the large barn.

Josie had never really been around horses. Her family owned a few, of course, but it was for practical purposes and she had not spent a copious amount of time around them. The opposite seemed to be true for the Tremblay children, who marched into the barn with unwavering confidence. While Josie kept her distance, Ruthie and Ethel walked up to the stalls, climbing up onto the railing to pet the large creatures. 

“Josie!” Ethel said, looking over her shoulder to where she stood a few feet away. “Come here and pet her, this one is my favorite.” 

“That’s alright,” Josie assured her. “I’m fine right here.” 

Ruthie snorted. “What? Are you scared or something?” 

Josie shouldn’t have taken the bait, she was three years older and a married woman, for goodness sake! She shouldn’t have let the taunts of a child get to her head, but her stubbornness and pride got the better of her and despite the trepidation she felt, she marched forward and stuck her hand out to pet the large mare. 

Her heart pounded in her chest, her nerves twisting in her belly, and after a moment of petting the animal she took a step backwards. She had proved herself and her point to Ruthie, and when she raised an eyebrow at her temperamental sister-in-law, she only got an indifferent huff. 

“Have you seen the small house yet?” Ruthie asked as they walked out of the barn a little while later, her sour mood somewhat dissipated. She had observed the girl quietly while they had taken her stall to stall, telling her about the different kinds of horses they bred, and she had noticed how Ruthie had seemed more relaxed and happy than she had all afternoon around the beasts that terrified Josie. Though she would never admit it for fear of getting hit by the younger girl, Ruthie reminded Josie a lot of herself when she was a child. 

“No, I haven’t. What’s that?” She asked as they took off in a different direction than which they came from. 

“It’s where you and Henry are going to live! My grandparents used to live there a really, _really_ long time ago, but then they died.” Ethel supplied excitedly, her tone much too upbeat for such a macabre topic. “Do you think I could spend the night when you move here?” 

“Henry and Josie don’t want you sleeping over at their house, Ethel. They’re _married._ They do _married people_ stuff, like _kissing._ They can’t kiss while little seven year olds are running around.” Ruthie shot back, and Josie blushed as Ethel’s face scrunched up in disgust. 

“Do you really kiss my brother?” She asked, sounding absolutely horrified by the idea. Josie couldn’t help but giggle at the innocent, leaning down conspiratorially. 

“Sometimes.” She whispered, and Ethel let go of her hand, shaking it rapidly as if she had gotten cooties from the touch. It wasn’t a complete lie, she had kissed Henry, even if it was only once on their wedding day, so saying that they sometimes kissed was completely truthful. Plus, the opportunity to tease her new sister-in-law was too great, she had to seize it even if it meant bending the truth slightly. She couldn’t help but laugh at the overreaction, and if she noticed the corners of Ruthie’s mouth quirking upward at the comment, she didn’t mention it. 

Ethel’s disgust didn’t last long, and it wasn’t long before the two were hand in hand again as the trio approached a modest cottage, and Ruthie didn’t hesitate to march up the porch and let herself in. 

“We would always come here to play hide and seek. I can show you all of the best spots.” Ethel said as they followed behind. 

“I think that would be very kind of you, I have to beat Henry now, don’t I?” She replied, drawing yet another bright smile from Ethel. 

“He can’t even get into the good spots, he’s too big.” She said, and Josie chuckled. 

“Good, I’ll need to know all of the smallest spots to hide in.” She said, giving the little girl a conspiratorial wink. 

The house was old and obviously had not been lived in for quite some time, but she could also tell that it was in the process of being cleaned and renovated for their eventual arrival at the end of May. They didn’t stay long, only enough to walk through. There wasn’t much to see, there was the kitchen and parlor along with two small bedrooms on the bottom floor, and then another two bedrooms on the second floor. It was strange, walking through the space she had never seen before, yet also knowing that she was in _her_ house. It sent a thrill through her, and she couldn’t help but feel a little excited to move in and run her own household. 

They left the small house a minute later and began the walk back towards the big house. Josie sent Ethel ahead, making up some fib about wanting to know how long it would take to run from the small house to the big house. She bought it easily, and she was off like a shot, leaving Ruthie and Josie walking side by side. 

“You don’t like me much, do you?” She said bluntly as she raised an eyebrow at the other girl. Ruthie gave her a curious look, obviously surprised by her lack of decorum. She didn’t respond immediately, instead crossing her arms over her chest in a way that very much reminded Josie of her younger self. 

“I hardly know you.” She said snobbily, and Josie nodded. 

“But you seem to already have made a quick judgement on me.” She said lightly, and the younger girl huffed. 

“You made my parents fight. I’ve heard them yelling about all of this over and over since they got Henry’s letter telling us about you. _And_ they were furious with Henry for marrying you. I bet he’s still being fussed at now.” She explained moodily, and Josie couldn’t help the seed of guilt that lodged its way into her stomach at her words. 

“It was never my intention to make you quarrel with each other, and I’m sorry you’ve had to hear all of the fighting.” She said. “Your brother showed up at my door unannounced, having traveled over a day to get to me, and asked me to marry him with no warning. He knew that your mother and father weren’t going to be happy, yet he did it anyways. It was his decision.” 

“You didn’t have to say yes.” Ruthie huffed, and Josie held back the urge to roll her eyes. What she wouldn’t give to be fifteen again, and believe that she knew everything there was to know about the world. Instead, she shrugged. 

“You’re right. I didn’t have to.” She said simply. “But I wanted to, so I did.”

Ruthie didn’t say anything else, just kept her eyes forward, stubbornly refusing to look at her. Josie let the silence linger for a minute, half amused with the girl but also wondering how she could begin to fix the mess she had made. She didn’t want any of the Tremblay’s disliking her, in fact she very much wanted to be liked by her new family, despite the strange circumstances of her marriage. 

“I understand if it’s easier to be angry with me rather than your brother,” Josie said as they climbed the steps to the big house. “But I hope that one day you can see me as a sister.” 

She received an eye roll in response and nothing more. Not exactly a victory, but not necessarily a failure, either. Ruthie left her then on the porch, stomping into the big house and disappearing down one of the unfamiliar hallways before Josie could follow her. Luckily, Ethel was waiting in the foyer with a big smile, and without a word she slipped her hand into hers and pulled her into the house. 

“Henry’s still getting yelled at,” She said in the same up-beat tone she said everything else in. “Have you met Florence yet? She’s nice.” 

“I haven’t, but Henry mentioned her in the letters he sent me.” Josie answered, trying to ignore the distant sound of yelling from Mr. Tremblay’s office. If she listened carefully, she could just barely hear Henry shouting, though she couldn’t exactly make out what he was saying. The yelling made her heart race slightly, she had never heard him raise his voice at anyone. He was the most level-headed person she knew, and the thought of him getting so worked up to the point of shouting made the guilt within her grow ever so slightly bigger.

“ _Henry, you still haven’t explained why the hell you married that woman without saying a word about it to your mother or I!”_ She heard Mr. Tremblay shout. 

_“Because I love her!”_ Henry yelled back, and the admission made her whole body go hot and cold at the same time, her heart stopping in her chest. 

She would have been rooted in her spot, completely stunned by what she had overheard. Henry loved her? It seemed impossible, yet such a simple explanation as to why he treated her the way he did.

Unfortunately, Ethel was marching her down the hallway before she could stew over it, rambling on and on about how great of a cook Florence was, and Josie had no other option but to follow her, nodding along even though she was only half listening to what the little girl was saying. 

At least she could take comfort in knowing that she had one other Tremblay on her side. 

_____________

“I’m going to snap at Florence if she says I’m too skinny one more time. I _know_ I’m too skinny. It’s not intentional, but I can’t tell her that, now can I?” Josie grumbled later that evening as she and Henry walked out to the small house. They had been sent of to make a list of everything they wanted done by the time they returned in May, and Josie was secretly excited to have control over the space. 

“I know you don’t like it when your size is mentioned. I tried to tell them not to say anything, but Florence is a stubborn old thing. I’ll have my mother speak to her about it.” Henry said, reaching across his body to gently squeeze her hand that rested on his arm. 

“How did the conversation with your parents go? We didn’t have time to speak about it before we ate.” She asked casually, trying to pretend like her mind wasn’t still reeling over what she had heard, sparing a glance up at him. He snorted, meeting her gaze and giving her a look that she knew didn’t mean anything good. 

“About as well as it could have gone.” He chuckled. “I got the verbal lashing of a lifetime, to put it simply. My father yelled, I yelled back, my mother cried, then we calmed down and talked about it rationally.” 

“Couldn’t you have skipped the yelling and crying and just talked about it calmly from the beginning?” Josie asked, raising an eyebrow up at him. He shook his head, squeezing her hand again. 

“All part of the process, dear. Nothing productive happens when emotions are running too high, so the catharsis is a necessary part of the process.” He explained, and Josie hummed. 

“What did you tell them?” She asked, the nerves that had lingered in her belly rearing their ugly head. She had told him on the train that if he really needed to tell them the truth of why they got married so quickly that she wouldn’t be cross with him, that she would accept his decision. But was that really what she wanted? She supposed that it was too late for regrets, at that point it was too late to take everything back. 

“My father knows the truth. After my mother left to see to dinner preparations, he asked me to speak candidly with him. I don’t think I ever would have gotten his full approval otherwise.” He said plainly, and Josie felt a wave of nausea roll over her, threatening to expel the meager scraps she had eaten at dinner. 

“Very well.” She said with a stiff nod. 

“He won’t say anything about it to you. In fact, he’ll most likely pretend as if he doesn’t know anything about it. But he was angry, and I felt he would understand if he knew my reasoning for marrying you.” He said, and Josie snorted. 

“So when I heard you yell at your parents that you love me, that was a lie?” She asked bitterly, and Henry stopped in his tracks. She walked a few paces ahead of him before noticing, turning around to look at him with an eyebrow raised. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“No,” Henry said with a shake of his head. “I just didn’t think you had heard that.” 

“Well, I did.” She said stiffly, holding her chin up. She wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light or something else entirely, but she could have sworn that Henry blushed then, looking bashful for a quick moment before clearing his throat and putting his usual unreadable expression back on. 

“That wasn’t a lie, Josie.” He said simply, reaching out to gently take her hands in his. She fought the urge to pull her hands away from him, but he kept his grip firm as he looked down at her with an intense gaze. “Yes, I rushed to marry you because of the circumstances, but I always had plans to pursue you. And that is because I’ve fallen quite deeply in love with you.” 

Hearing him yell the words at his parents and hearing him say them so genuinely to her that she couldn’t even deny the truthfulness of his words were two completely different things. If she thought she had been overwhelmed before, the way he was looking at her tripled the feeling. 

“Henry, I-” She stammered nervously, and he shook his head. 

“You don’t feel the same way.” He said plainly. “I know that, and I don’t expect you to. Obviously, I hope that one day you can reciprocate my feelings to some degree, but still know that I will never push you into anything, Josie. I promised that when I proposed, and I won’t be going back on my word.” 

She didn’t understand Henry Tremblay one bit. He claimed that he loved her, and that was the driving factor behind her decision, but why would he do such a thing when he also knew that she didn’t feel the same, and might not ever reciprocate his feelings? He confused her greatly, and she refused to believe that he was truly as selfless as he was making himself out to be. She didn’t believe that there wasn’t a hidden motive somewhere, she just hadn’t discovered it yet. 

“You are an absolutely baffling man, Henry Tremblay.” She said with a heavy sigh, pulling her hands from his grip and crossing her arms over her chest. “But I suppose if you want to love me, there’s not a thing I can do to stop you, now is there?”

Henry laughed at her comment, shaking his head. “I’m afraid I’m utterly besotted with you.” 

She simply rolled her eyes and turned around, continuing the walk towards their future home, trying to ignore how lightheaded she felt on account of how fast her heart was beating inside of her chest. 

________

She met Ida Clark (née Tremblay) the next afternoon, and she was without a doubt one of the most interesting, yet overwhelming, women Josie had ever met (and that was saying a lot, considering that her best friend was Anne). Henry had told Josie of her over the top personality, in his own words, “what she lacks in stature, she makes up in personality”, and she proved his words to be true within minutes of walking through the door. 

“Where is my new sister, little brother?” She heard someone call loudly from the foyer as she sat in Lillian’s sewing room, completely enraptured by the bolts of fabric and spools of fancy trims that filled the space. 

“She’s with mother in the sewing- hey!” She heard Henry say, and Josie sat frozen in fear as a woman swept into the room like she owned it, a bright smile on her face. 

“Josie, it’s so lovely to meet you!” Ida exclaimed happily, opening her arms and pulling Josie into a hug before she had time to refuse it. She stood still, her eyes wide and her arms hanging limply at her sides as the woman squeezed her tightly once before letting go, holding her at an arm’s length away to look her up and down. 

“My, my, Henry didn’t do you justice, you’re absolutely stunning!” She laughed, leaning in as if she was telling a joke only the two of them understood. “And he was _very_ complimentary of you in her letters, I’ve never heard him talk about a girl _ever_ and then suddenly he’s going on and on about his _wife!_ You certainly were a surprise to all of us, dear!” 

Josie didn’t say anything, blinking dumbly at her, only tearing her gaze away from her when Henry entered the room, holding a baby out in front of him as if it were a live bomb. 

“Ida, please take my niece from me before I do something and accidentally break her.” He said nervously, and Josie couldn’t help but giggle at how downright terrified he looked. Lilliam rolled her eyes, standing up from her spot and crossing the room to take the baby, cradling her gently as she shot a dirty look up at Henry. 

“How many younger siblings do you have, Henry Samuel? One would think you’d know how to hold a baby by this point.” She huffed, and Josie raised an eyebrow. _So that’s his middle name, noted. And he’s apparently terrified of babies. My my, I’m learning lots about my dear husband this trip, aren’t I?_

“Ida all but shoved her into my arms and then took off like she had been shot out of a canon! Forgive me for being a little stunned, mother.” He said with a roll of his eyes, only to wince when he received a smack to the head for his cheek.

“Enough of your sass, mister. Now, leave us be and let me get to know my new daughter better.” Lillian said, shooing him out of the room. He shot Josie an apologetic look over his shoulder as he left, and she simply shrugged as the door closed firmly behind him. 

“For such an intelligent young man, Henry can act like a real imbecile sometimes.” Lillian chuckled, bouncing the baby lightly in her arms for a moment before smiling at Josie and taking a step forward. “Josie, this is your niece, Lucille.” 

Josie leaned in slightly to look at the swaddled baby, unable to hide her smile as she looked down at the infant. 

“We call her Lucy.” Ida added, and Josie hummed, reaching forward to gently stroke the little girl’s face, her heart lifting slightly when the baby cooed at her touch. 

“She’s beautiful,” Josie said. Even though she was only a few months old, she was also undeniably Tremblay, with a shock of dark hair and dark eyes that stared up at her curiously. 

“Isn’t she?” Ida agreed happily, pulling Lucy from her mother to hold her. “William wanted a boy so badly, but I suppose there’s always the next one.” She said with a chuckle and a shrug, and Josie nodded her head awkwardly as if she understood. 

“I’m sure Henry feels the same way,” Lillian said with a light laugh, taking her seat behind her work table once more. “Josie, when can I expect one from you two? Truthfully, every letter I’ve received from Henry I’ve hoped he would tell us that you were pregnant..” 

“Do you think you’re pregnant already? I’m pretty sure Lucy was conceived within two weeks of us being married.” Ida asked curiously, and Josie blushed. 

“Well, I’m not sure.” She said, trying to sound casual even with the other two women looking at her so intently. “I’m sure it’ll happen when the Lord wills it, and not a moment before.” 

It felt like a cop out, but thankfully Ida and Lillian accepted it with a nod, happy smiles on their faces. Lillian leaned forward, patting Josie’s hand lightly. 

“If you ever need any tips, feel free to ask me. I had seven pregnancies and five children, so I obviously had no trouble conceiving!” She tittered, and Josie blushed again. It was like tea with the church ladies all over again, except infinitely worse because it was her _mother-in-law_ wanting to give her sexual advice to be used in a practical sense with her _son._

Josie felt nauseous. 

“Oh, stop it mother! Look how embarrassed she is! I can see she’s just as modest as our little Henry.” Ida chastised lightly, taking in the bright shade of red Josie had turned. 

“Alright, alright! I’ll let it go… for now.” Lillian conceded with a playful wink, holding her hands up in surrender as she turned to Josie with a friendly smile. “Now Josie, I’ve been working on a new dress for you for Easter, why don’t you try it on and see how it fits?” 

___________

“Your mother asked me if I was pregnant today,” Josie said suddenly into the dark room, disrupting the peaceful silence that had blanketed over them. “I told her I didn’t think so.” 

“May I hold your hand?” Henry asked rather than immediately responding to her, reaching out across the expanse of blankets, waiting until he heard the crumple of her pillow case rumpling as she nodded. He slid his large, warm hand into her smaller one, squeezing it gently. 

“You should ignore her, she’s just too nosy and excited for her own good.” He said. “Ida just had Lucy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was pregnant again by the time the year is out, she can wait a little while for us.” 

Josie huffed, turning onto her side to look at Henry over the pillow that separated them, pulling her hand loose from his as she did so. 

“We’ve been married for nearly three months, and everyone is expecting for me to be nearly three months gone already. They’ll start to think something is wrong with me if I don’t have a baby soon.” She said bitterly. 

“Well there isn’t anything wrong with you,” He retorted, turning onto his side to face her. “Frankly, it’s nobody’s business when we’ll start having children. Anne and Gilbert are waiting, why can’t we?” 

“I’m sure Anne gets the same questions I do, and if she hasn’t, then it’s only a matter of time until she does.” She said, the eyeroll barely visible in the low light. “Also, Anne’s still got three years left in her degree, and four years until her husband has his medical license, and they live in separate provinces for a good portion of the year. It would be absolutely disastrous if they had a child now. We’re different. You’ll be working for your father soon, and I’m a housewife. It’s my duty at this point to give you a son. Also, Gilbert and Anne quite enjoy the art of baby-making, which I do not, if you can recall. At least Anne can answer honestly when she says she doesn't know. I’m quite certain I’m not pregnant, and it’s my own fault.” 

“Stop that.” Henry said with a frown. “That kind of talk is ridiculous.” 

“Is it?” She shot back. “You can’t even hold my hand without asking me first because I jump out of my skin. I’m sure you’d be more than happy to finally consummate our marriage if not for me.” 

“Josie that’s not-” He sighed. 

“Don’t you dare lie to me, Henry.” She said, the warning in her voice clear. 

He sighed, knowing that this would probably be an argument he would not be able to win no matter what he said. “Yes, Josie. I find that quite often I want you in a way a husband wants his wife, and should you give consent I’d be eager to do the act with you. Is that so wrong of me to say?” 

“You haven’t tried to get me to do it.” She said after a moment. 

“No, I haven’t.” He replied, wishing he could roll his eyes at her, but knowing better than to try. It was as she could sense he was giving her cheek, and she would be quick to whack him for it, despite the fact that she was about as sassy as they came. “Haven’t we had this conversation multiple times before? I told you when I proposed, I’m not going to make you feel obligated to do anything. Now, that begs the question, do you _want_ to take any steps regarding marital relations?” 

“What I want is for your mother to stop asking if I’m pregnant.” She said, pushing herself up to a sitting position. 

“That isn’t a clear answer, darling, and I can think of multiple solutions to that problem.” Henry chuckled, folding his hands behind his head as he looked up at her, her pale blonde hair nearly white in the beam of moonlight that filtered through the window. “I can put a baby in you tonight if you’ll let me and that will make her shut her trap, or I’ll talk to my mother in the morning and tell her to be more discreet. Whichever you’d rather, and I’ll do it.” 

Josie glared down at him, narrowing her eyes before crossing her arms over her chest. “You know the answer to the first option. Talk to your mother and tell her to leave me alone about it. She’s driving me batty. Ida, too.” She finally said, giving one last huff before flopping back onto the mattress, turning her back to him, signalling that she was done with the topic. 

Henry thought for a moment that she might have gone to sleep after their conversation, but after a few minutes of quiet he heard her sigh.

“It’s incredibly frightening, most of the time.” She admitted. 

“My mother?” Henry chuckled, trying to make his wife laugh, and instead he only earned himself a swift slap on the arm. 

“Don’t be an ass.” She snapped, back to him just as quickly as she had turned around to smack him. 

“You were trying to be serious, weren’t you? And I was making light of it. I’m sorry.” He acknowledged, apologizing for his lack of sensitivity. “I promise I’ll take it seriously from now on, please continue, Jo.” 

She was silent for another few minutes then, and Henry almost kicked himself for scaring her away with his callousness just as she was opening up to him. Then, thankfully, just before he was about to apologize again, she spoke. 

“While your mother can be downright terrifying, I meant matters of...intimacy. And all of that. It scares me a good deal more than I’m willing to admit.” She said slowly, as if it were some grand revelation that he had not known about previously. 

“I can understand how you would be apprehensive of the subject.” Henry replied, thinking over his next words carefully. “Are you frightened of me? That I might change my mind and force your hand, so to speak?” 

She was quiet again, and the longer her silence drew on the more worried Henry became. Surely after knowing each other for almost a year and being married for nearly half of it she would know that he was a man of honor and integrity. 

“No, I don’t think I am.” She said finally, and his sigh of relief was almost audible. “Perhaps at first, you are much larger than me you know. Much larger than Billy, for sure. You could easily force yourself onto me, if you wanted to.” 

It made him sick to his stomach that her mind worked in such a way, that she measured men by their physical size rather than the strength of their character, and it also made his blood boil. Not for the first time, he thought about what he would do if he ever came toe to toe with the bastard that hurt his sweet, resilient wife so terribly. 

“But I know now that you won’t do that.” She said, the mattress shifting underneath her as she rolled over to face him, biting down on her lower lip as she scooted closer to the middle of the mattress, resting her head on the pillow that had divided their bed in half for as long as they had been sleeping in the same space. 

“You’re right, I won’t.” He said after a moment, scooting in closer so that he was almost pressed against the pillow as well. 

“Anne asked me something in one of her letters, right when we first got married.” Josie said slowly. “She asked if there was any way that I could possibly grow accustomed to the idea of intimacy, if experienced in a loving, trusting, respectful relationship.” 

Henry nodded, clinging on to her every word and hoping that she could see his quiet affirmation for her to continue on. 

“And I think that perhaps, in time, I could learn to trust you with that part of me as well. I mean, you’re my husband. If there’s going to be anyone, it will be you.” She finally said, a lump forming in her throat as the words escaped her, and part of her wished she could take it all back and she scrambled to try and fix the mess she had made for herself. “I can’t promise that it will be a quick process, and I might hate it all and change my mind. I’m well within my rights to do so.” 

“That you are,” Henry chuckled. “Josie, I promise to do everything in my power to make you feel comfortable for the rest of our lives together, on this matter and every other one. All you have to do is tell me what you’d like to do, and I’ll see to it that it happens.” 

He could barely make out her soft smile in the low light, and he made sure she could see him move when he reached out to cup her cheek in his hand. 

“Perhaps tonight you can kiss me? And hold my hand until I fall asleep?” She said slowly, inching inwards on the mattress. She had thought about her conversation with Ruthie and Ethel the day before, married couples did kiss, and sometimes they kissed in front of other people. It would be strange if she and Henry never showed affection for the other, and she rationalized that it wouldn’t be the end of the world to kiss him every now and then. (She also would admit that Henry Tremblay was far from an ugly man. She could have done much worse, though she would never admit it aloud.) 

Henry could have danced a jig at her request, but made use of his impeccable self control as he nodded. Their first and only kiss had been their wedding day, and that in and of itself was a disaster. Her asking him to kiss her was enough to make him leap for joy, but he managed to restrain himself. 

“I would be overjoyed to kiss you goodnight, Mrs. Tremblay.” He said, and with that he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers for the briefest of moments before pulling away. It was the first step of many, and while there would be plenty of steps backwards, sometimes more back than forwards, that true first kiss in the late hours of the evening was the beginning of a wall breaking down in their relationship, one that they were both relieved to see start crumbling down, whether or not they realized it. 

___________

Though the couple hardly understood the other at the best of times, it seemed like meeting Henry’s family was what made the two a united front more than ever before. Even though it was a snail’s pace, the tentative relationship they held prior to Easter slowly began transforming into something that resembled a friendship. Whether it was Josie choosing to spend time in the living room in the evenings rather than retreating into the bedroom or the casual comments and touches that indicated familiarity and comfort, it was enough to bolster Henry’s confidence enough to not give up on the pursuit of his wife. He continued kissing her when she asked, and never held back in telling her that he loved her, even though her response was always, “I know” or “stop that”. He loved her, and only fell in love with her more and more every day. Why would he dream of holding anything back? 

The one thing that Josie truly lacked in Toronto was genuine female friendship, which was why when Anne’s spring break rolled around in April, Josie was just as excited about her visit as Gilbert was. She had been buzzing with excitement, having been at rock bottom the last time she saw her friend right after the disaster at the panto. 

She and Henry stayed at the apartment while Gilbert fetched her from the station, and he couldn’t help but laugh as she flitted around the apartment, straightening up much more than necessary to have the place prepared. 

“You stop it, mister.” Josie scolded, hitting him lightly with a pillow. “Forgive me for being excited.” 

“I’m not faulting you for it,” He laughed, snatching the pillow from her hands to place it back in its spot on the couch. “I think your eagerness is quite adorable, actually.” 

She blushed at the compliment, just like how she blushed at all of his kind words towards her. She had long since stopped trying to dissuade him from saying such things, and she secretly thought he liked making her blush with the sweet things he said about her. 

“My life was falling apart the last time I saw her, and it has gotten considerably better since then. We have a lot to catch up on, that’s all.” She said, picking up the pillow he had just set down to fluff before setting it down once more. 

“Considerably better, eh?” Henry teased, raising an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Pride doesn’t look good on you, Mr. Tremblay.” She chastised, moving to fidget with the pillow again when the door opened, and she abandoned all thoughts of the pillow as she quickly rounded to face the door, only to be bombarded by a blur of red hair and green skirts. 

“Josie!” Anne squealed, wrapping her arms around her neck tightly. Josie staggered back slightly at the sudden embrace, but returned it in kind as she burned her face into Anne’s shoulder. 

“Oh! I’ve missed you so.” She whispered, pulling away after a moment to smile at her friend. “I can’t wait to hear absolutely everything that’s happened since I’ve last seen you.” 

“Of course!” Anne said with a giggle, even though Josie could see the exhaustion from the obscenely long trip lingering in her eyes. She also caught the slightly defeated look Gilbert had when Anne dragged her towards the couch for them to sit, and they had barely touched the seat before Josie was standing up once more. 

“Actually, you can tell me everything later. You should rest for a little while.” She said with a smile before glancing over to where Henry had moved to an armchair. “Henry, let’s go for a walk.” 

He looked confused at her sudden request, especially after how excited she had been just a few minutes before. “But don’t you want to spend time with Anne? She just got here.” 

“She’ll be here all week, and I’m feeling a little stir crazy. Let’s go for a walk around the neighborhood while she and Gilbert rest for a while.” She said, waving off his concern with a flip of her wrist, hoping she would get her hidden message in her odd request. 

Thankfully, realization dawned on him and his eyebrows rose imperceptibly, and he was up in an instant. “I’ll grab your hat, dear.” 

She giggled, throwing a wink of her shoulder as they departed, earning a laugh from Anne and a deep blush from Gilbert as the door shut behind them. 

“What do you think, an hour or so is enough to get everything out of their systems?” She asked lightly as they descended the stairs. Henry chuckled, looking bashful at the thought of what was occurring in their apartment at the moment. 

“It better be, I’ll be ready for supper by then.”

Josie smiled, slipping her arm through his as they walked out to the street. “Let’s go get a treat from the confectionary. I’m sure that will take up a good portion of time, and we’ll have something sweet to show for it.” 

Henry just nodded, setting off in the direction of their favorite place in Toronto, sparking a conversation with her about something in his classes to get their mind off of why they were taking the walk in the first place. 

An hour, a mile of walking, and a half pound of fudge later, the two made their way back to the apartment, knocking loudly to make their presence known before opening the door. They were greeted with the sounds of a squeaking bed frame from Gilbert’s room, and with the fudge hastily thrown on the table, the door was shut just as quickly as it was opened. 

“Those two are animals.” Henry said, his face bright red as he locked the door once more. Josie just giggled, knowing her face was probably just as flushed as his was. He joined her in laughing, escalating quickly until they were both laughing like fools doubled over in the hallway. 

“Come on,” Josie said through her laughter, tugging him down the hallway before someone walked by and thought they were lunatics. “I think we can splurge and buy some stew from the deli for supper, what do you think?” 

“That sounds much better than cooking right now.” Henry agreed with a chuckle, trekking back down the stairs and onto the bustling streets of Toronto once more. 

When they entered the apartment the second time, they were very relieved to find their friends out of the bedroom and in the common area, looking much more relaxed than they had when Henry and Josie had left. 

Anne at least had the decency to blush as Josie joined her at the sink, giving her a pointed look. 

“I’m not going to look now, but will I be surprised when you unbutton your shirt for me later?” She asked quietly, and Anne blushed more, shaking her head. Josie tittered, dumping the stew into a pot to heat up as Anne pinched her lightly. 

They ignored the events of the afternoon as they ate supper, instead talking about school and everything life had brought their way since Anne had left Toronto in January. Even though the story had been told to her over letters, Anne still insisted on hearing the entire tale of Henry going to Avonlea to marry Josie (she laughed hardest at the part where Henry showed up at Gilbert’s house, sheepishly asking Bash if he could stay there for a few days while he took care of some business). She fawned over the tale, earning a vaguely dirty look from Josie. Her marriage was not a “tragical romance” for Anne to swoon over, for goodness sake. She couldn’t stay angry at her for long, because just as they finished eating Anne cleared her throat. 

“I would like to announce that Josie and I are going to be bad wives tonight. You two will have to clean up from dinner, I’m sorry to say.” She said, not looking the least bit regretful as she turned her gaze to her friend. “Josie, I have a bottle of wine in my suitcase with our names on it, so go put on your nightgown and meet me in Gilbert’s room as soon as you can. I do believe we have quite a lot of girl talk to get through tonight.” 

With a giggle of pure delight that made Henry’s heart melt a little bit, Josie sprung up from the table, practically skipping to their room and closing the door behind her as Anne followed suit, going into Gilbert’s room. Henry and Gilbert exchanged wary glances, knowing that nothing good could possibly come from the night when wine and their wives were in the same equation. Still, they didn’t do anything to stop the foolishness as they began cleaning up the table. Henry glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open, catching a glance of Josie running to Gilbert’s door, giggling like a madwoman in her nightgown, her hair flowing down her back as she knocked lightly on the door and disappeared inside without a word. 

“Are you a betting man, Henry?” Gilbert said as they scrubbed the dishes, working in tandem to clean up like they had when they were both bachelors. Henry chuckled as he dried a bowl and put it away in the cupboard. 

“Not particularly, but I could change my mind for this instance. What’s the wager?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

“That one of wives will be retching before the end of the night. I’d put a fifty cent piece on it.” Gilbert said, and Henry laughed at the same time a loud shriek came from Gilbert’s room, followed by a chorus of giggles.

“Alright then, I bet that they both will be, but it won’t come until morning.” He countered, and Gilbert nodded, holding out his hand to shake. With the bet made and the kitchen cleaned, the two men went about the rest of their night, reading by the fire and studying quietly, the occasional giggle or guffaw filtering through the door from the two women tucked away in Gilbert’s room. 

When the time came for them to go to bed, Gilbert knocked lightly on his door, waiting until it opened just a crack, revealing a red-faced Anne. 

“Yes dear?” She said with a light giggle, obviously a little drunk. 

“It’s time for me to go to sleep, Anne-girl.” He said, reaching out to tug gently on a lock of her hair. 

“Alright, good night.” She said, pressing up on her toes to kiss him lightly. The door began to close and Gilbert looked at her in utter confusion, holding his hand out to stop her. 

“I meant to sleep in _my_ bed. You are more than welcome to stay, but Josie is going to have to vacate the premises.” He clarified, and Anne frowned. 

“No Gilbert! Josie and I are having a sleepover,” She said, slurring her words slightly. “You had me all afternoon, it’s time for you to share.” 

With that the door was shut again and Gilbert was left standing slack jawed in front of his door, wondering how he ended up in the position he was in. Henry, the bastard, looked incredibly amused from his position on the couch and made no move to help him. 

“But Anne! Where am I going to sleep?” He called through the door in exasperation, and he was met with a giggle. 

“You’re a smart man, problem solving is an essential skill, dear! Maybe Henry will share?” Anne responded, earning another giggle from Josie. 

Gilbert huffed, turning to Henry, who stood from the couch and closed his book with a crisp _snap_. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” He said. “There’s a snowball’s chance in hell you’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight. Enjoy the cot.” 

With that Henry gave him a nod goodnight and ducked into his room, leaving Gilbert to set up his bed as he changed for bed. It felt strange, being in his bed without Josie there, even without the pillow wall pressed against his hip was odd. He eventually put a pillow beside him, unable to get comfortable without it as he pulled his book out to read for a while longer before going to bed. 

He was just about to close his book for the night when the door swung open, startling him slightly as he perked up to find the intruder. He smiled at what he found as Josie stumbled into the room, cheeks flushed and hair mussed up slightly. A large deep red stain had bloomed across her chest, and she was giggling quietly as she stumbled towards her wardrobe. 

“Are you having fun, sweetheart?” He asked with a grin, watching as she looked at him and changed her course, plopping herself down on the bed by his side, bouncing slightly as she did so. 

“Henry,” She said slowly, her eyes foggy and her tone confused but deadly serious as she looked down at her nightgown to the offending stain. “I spilled.” 

“I can see that, I’m afraid that this gown might be nothing better than rags now.” He laughed. “Would you like me to fetch another nightgown for you?” 

She nodded, and he set about getting another gown for her, setting it down on the bed beside her once he pulled it from her wardrobe. She was swaying slightly, as if rocking back and forth to a song that only she could hear, and Henry found it endlessly amusing. He quite liked his wife a little intoxicated, he had to admit. 

“I’ll step out and let you change.” He said with a nod, taking a step towards the door. 

“Wait!” Josie called, and he turned slowly, looking at her curiously. “You’re ready to go to bed, I’m not going to kick you out. I-I’ll be _so_ quick, just turn your back and that will be fine.” 

Henry’s heart sped up at the thought of being so close to Josie in any state of undress, even without being able to see her, and he listened intently for every breath and rustle of fabric behind him as she quickly changed, his imagination running rampant. When she cleared her throat he turned around, finding her changed and kneeling on the mattress, putting her almost at equal height with him. 

“Come here,” She said, holding her arms out to him. He raised an eyebrow, curious as to what had gotten into her (which of course, it was the excessive amount of wine she had drunk with Anne that evening) as he obliged her request. She gently set her hands on his shoulders when he got close enough, eyes narrowing in concentration. 

“You’re very...tall.” She said slowly, and Henry chuckled in amusement. 

“Very astute observation, Jo.” 

“You make me feel like a mouse. You’re a… I don’t know. A bear? Yes, I like that. You’re a big, strong, tall bear and I’m a tiny little mouse.” She babbled, smoothing her hands across his shoulders, running her fingers over their broad expanse. She was wholly unaware of the effect she was having on him, her touch intoxicating. 

“You’re built like a house, Henry, did you know that?” She said, pulling him forward slightly as she walked forward on her knees until they were pressed together, her left shoulder flush with his right. “Look! You’re so much bigger than me. Big bear, little mouse.” She sighed, pointing to the space where her right shoulder ended yet his body continued on. She hummed happily, resting her forehead on his shoulder, nuzzling into him in a display of cuddliness that he had not seen from her before. His heart skipped a beat, and he wished more than anything that he could wrap his arms around her and hold her close.

Henry chuckled at her drunken ramblings, knowing that his face was probably a vivid shade of red but he was not worried about her noticing. A train could probably have blown through their apartment and she wouldn’t have noticed, so a little blush was definitely something she would miss.

He would never say anything about it, but he was quite the fan of their size difference. It was one of the first things he noticed about her, and he loved how small Josie was, how dainty her wrists and ankles were when he got glimpses of them, and her little button nose. He liked how he towered over her when they walked side by side, or how well she could fit into his side if they were to remove the pillow wall that stood between them each night. She would fit perfectly against him, he just knew it, and it was something that he prayed for often. 

“You should drink some water.” He said with a chuckle, taking a step away from her so he didn’t embarrass himself, mourning the loss of her body heat. She looked befuddled by his statement, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion for a moment before she looked up at him. 

“Henry, will you kiss me?” She asked, completely ignoring his suggestion to hydrate. He blinked at her blankly after her suggestion, looking at her as if she had grown another head. 

“I beg your pardon?”

She rolled her eyes, holding her arms out to him again, making grabby hands to beckon him forward. He didn’t make any moves, standing firmly in place. 

“Henry, I feel so warm and happy right now. It’s like I’m a bottle of syrup that’s been left in the sun. It’s a lovely feeling and I’d like to kiss you while I feel this way.” She explained, leaning forward slightly to try and get her hands on him. She had already been perched on the edge of the bed, and in her inebriated state leaning forward proved to be too much and she tipped forward, falling off of the bed. Henry was quick to surge forward and catch her, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from hitting the ground. She giggled, completely unaware that she almost smashed her face into the ground, wrapping her arms around him as he scooped her up and deposited her safely back onto the bed. 

“You saved me!” She cheered with another giggle, keeping her arms wrapped around his neck as she nuzzled into his cheek, rubbing her nose lovingly against the warm skin. “Now let me kiss you, you bear.” 

“You’re drunk, little mouse. Very drunk” Henry retorted with a shake of his head, using every ounce of self control he had to resist her as he pulled away from her embrace, moving to sit next to her on the bed. “You’ll be furious with me in the morning if I kiss you while you’re like this.” 

“I promise I won’t be!” She begged. “What if I kiss you? Then I can only be angry with myself.” 

_You’ll find some way to be angry with me._ He thought with a snort. _You have a particular talent for it._

“Please, Henry. This is the best I have felt in months,” Josie pleaded when she noticed his reluctance, her shoulders sagging as she begged. “I want you to kiss me like I’ve never been hurt. Like how you would kiss me if I wasn’t afraid, because I’m not right now.” 

There was something about the way she looked in the dim lighting of their bedroom, his lamp making her hair shine like it had been spun from gold, her blue eyes wide and hopeful. And her request for him to show her how he would kiss her if they had met in different lives, and married under circumstances, was too tempting for him to resist. 

Without wasting another moment, Henry pulled her into a searing kiss, burying his fingers in her hair and tilting her head up to allow him better access to her mouth. She gasped into the kiss, her fingers clutching his bicep as she kissed him in kind. He kissed her until he was lightheaded, holding her tightly to his chest as he gently coaxed her mouth open, sliding her tongue against hers, tasting the wine lingering in her mouth before he pulled her lower lip between his, sucking and nibbling on it until she gasped quietly into his mouth. He pulled away with a heavy inhale, keeping her in his arms as their heavy breaths mingled in the space between them. 

“That’s how I would kiss you if you weren’t afraid.” He said, resting their foreheads together, slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth over the soft curve of her jaw. “Now you should go to bed, little mouse.” 

“Alright, big bear.” She said breathily, making no move to pull away from him. Instead she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his in a sweet, slow kiss. 

When she pulled away from the second kiss she actually got up and left, squeezing his bicep lightly before she let go and walked out without a word about what had just happened. Henry sat there on the mattress, stunned by the turn of events and more than a little bit aroused by how eagerly his wife had reciprocated his kiss. They kissed somewhat often, not every day, but sometimes before bed or when he got home from class he would greet her with a little peck. None of those innocent kisses could hold a candle to the way he had been allowed to kiss her only minutes before, and his blood was boiling for _more._ He could have spent hours kissing her, if she had let him. 

Perhaps she would be furious at him in the morning for the ordeal, but he knew that no matter how angry she would get, he would always be infinitely more furious with himself for taking a taste of what their marriage could be while knowing that he would be completely powerless to have it again. 

______________

Josie had returned only a minute after she had left, huffing about Gilbert taking her spot and kicking her out while she had gone to change, and within moments of getting into bed she was out like a light, snoring softly as she was lulled into a wine induced slumber. 

The next morning Henry woke to the sound of a quiet groan next to him, and he yawned, rolling over to find Josie face first in her pillow, her hair a bird's nest around her head. He chuckled, leaning over to press a kiss to the back of her head. 

“Good morning, little mouse. How are you feeling?” 

Her response, as far as he could tell, was no intelligible words. Only a loud, angry groan of pain. Henry chuckled as her arm swung out wildly in a vain attempt to smack him, which he dodged as he got out of bed and began dressing for the day. He didn’t bother fixing his hair once he was dressed, and instead he made his way into the common room to get Josie a glass of water. He found Gilbert out there doing the same, a piece of bread already toasting over the stove. 

“Is Anne as miserable as Josie is right now?” He asked, quietly shutting the door behind him. Gilbert chuckled, nodding as he grabbed another glass from the cabinet to pass to Henry. 

“I’m pretty sure she’s still drunk.” He said with a laugh, pulling the toast away from the stove and setting it on a plate. Henry snorted, filling the glass with water. 

“Well, Josie’s sober but mad as a hornet right now. We remained vomit-free throughout the night though. What about Anne?” Henry asked, raising an eyebrow. Gilbert rolled his eyes at the mention of their little wager. 

“Nothing from Anne, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost yet. Unless they both retch this morning, it’s a draw.” He said, giving Henry a dirty look. Henry just shrugged, dipping back into his room to set the water on the bedside table. 

“Sip on this, sweetheart. You’ll feel better, I promise.” He said softly, squatting down beside the bed to run a hand gently over her head. She sighed, turning her head to face him. 

“My head hurts.” She mumbled weakly, brushing the hair away from her face. Her eyebrows were drawn together tightly and he reached out, smoothing his thumb over the creases to ease the tension she held there. Her face relaxed ever so slightly, and Henry couldn’t help but smile down at her. Even hungover and miserable, Josie somehow managed to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

“I’m sure it does,” He said with a chuckle. “You just rest, I’ll bring something light for you to eat in a few minutes.” 

With another indiscernible groan Henry straightened to his full height and made his way out of the room once more. He wanted to ask her what she thought about the kiss, or if she even remembered it at all, but he knew that she was in no state to talk about such things. He would wait until she was feeling better, and then broach the subject. 

He hoped she didn’t regret it. He wouldn’t be able to look himself in the mirror if she did and resented him for it, even if she was the one who pushed the subject so fervently. She had consented in the moment, but she was drunk. She wasn’t of sound mind, so was her consent even valid? His stomach was in knots as he joined Gilbert in the living room again, slumping down onto the couch, letting his head fall to rest against the back of it. 

“Last night Josie asked me to kiss her like she had never been hurt.” He said with a heavy sigh, scrubbing his hands over his face. “And I did.” 

“Henry,” Gilbert said, taking on a threatening tone that Henry had never heard him use before. “I swear if you did anything to her-” 

“Do you really think I would?” He shot back defensively, sitting up to face his best friend. “Look me in the eye and tell me you think that I could ever hurt that woman. Do it.” 

Gilbert deflated at the heated words, sighing quietly. “You wouldn’t.” 

“Thank you.” Henry huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“So you kissed her with a lesser degree of restraint than you normally would, is that what I’m hearing?” Gilbert asked, and Henry blushed, thinking back on how quickly he had drawn her into his arms and kissed the daylights out of her. Though he had been initially reluctant, it hadn’t taken much convincing on her part. 

Still, despite his bashfulness he nodded in confirmation. 

“And Josie…?” Gilbert said, trailing off to leave the question open ended. 

“She seemed to like it, from what I could tell. We didn’t talk about it after, and she was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. What if she hates me for it this morning? I didn’t take advantage of her, did I? I don’t think I could live with myself if she thought such a thing.” Henry said, anxiety and uncertainty creeping into his gut as he ruminated over the events of the night before. 

“I don’t know what to tell you Henry,” Gilbert said with a sigh. “You’ll just have to talk with her and hope for the best. If it makes you feel any better, it sounds like everything was perfectly consensual to me.” 

Having at least a little reassurance felt nice, and he opened his mouth to say something when the door swung open and Anne trudged out, still wearing her nightgown, but wrapped in a thick sweater of Gilbert’s to preserve some of her modesty. Henry blushed, averting his eyes as Anne groaned and held up the bottle of wine from the night before. 

“Gilbert, have you seen the top for this?” She asked groggily. Gilbert stood, shaking his head and crossing the room. Anne huffed.

“Drat, this is going to go bad then, if it hasn’t already. I hate to waste.” She said with a sigh, going to pour it down the sink. The smell of the wine being poured out seemed to trigger her nausea, and with a quiet _oh no_ from Anne the retching began, and Gilbert was quick to gather her hair, holding it back as she hunched over the basin. 

That was also the moment Josie made her appearance. 

“Henry, could you please make me some-” She started, and the sight and sound of Anne vomiting seemed to do the trick, because a moment later she looked sickly pale and slapped a hand over her mouth. Henry was quick to grab a random pot, shoving it in her hands at the last second as she began retching into the vessel. Henry guided her to the couch so she could sit while her stomach rid itself of the wine from the night before, pulling her hair back as well and shooting a triumphant glance over his shoulder to Gilbert. 

“You’re a bastard, Henry Tremblay.” He muttered, too busy with his own sick wife to be as angry as he could have been that he was fifty cents poorer. 

____________

Despite the less than stellar start to her visit, Anne seemed to enjoy herself the rest of the week, and Henry saw a different side of Josie while her friend was there. She seemed lighter, more carefree and less tense. She never mentioned the kiss, and Henry could never seem to find the right time to bring it up. They didn’t get much alone time, with him having to go to class still and her staying up late each night to talk to Anne, more often than not slipping into bed after he had gone to sleep for the night. He wasn’t sure if she was avoiding the conversation, but after four agonizing days of uncertainty that had Henry spiraling deeper and deeper into shame for his actions, he finally brought the topic up when Anne and Gilbert left them for the evening to visit the Oaks. 

“Josie, are you upset with me for the way I kissed you the other night?” He asked as they sat by the fire, him studying while she worked on turning the ruined nightgown from said night into rags. She stopped her cutting, the scissors going still in her hand as she looked up at him with an unreadable expression. 

“No, I’m not.” She said simply before turning back to her work. 

Henry loved Josie. He did. With every ounce of his being. But there were moments where she drove him absolutely insane, and her flippant attitude about the conversation was driving him close to lunacy. 

“Did it make you feel any sort of way?” He prodded lightly, needing much more than she was giving him at the moment. She huffed, setting her work down with more force than was necessary to look at him in annoyance. 

“Yes, Henry, it did. Did you ever stop to think that I might be incredibly embarrassed that I got stupidly drunk and threw myself at you?” She snapped, and he raised an eyebrow at her, disregarding her harsh tone as he usually did. 

“Did you ever think that I might have _enjoyed_ you being affectionate with me?” He shot back just as quick, setting his book aside to lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Josie blushed at his words, and he snorted. 

“I don’t have to pretend that I love you, Jo. I just do.” He said plainly. “I don’t grit my teeth and hold my breath when I kiss you. I kiss you because I want to. I don’t loathe spending time with you. Would you believe me if I told you that the only thing my classmates know about me is that I’m married to the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet, and that the best part of my day is going home to her? I’m absolutely mad for you, and I’ve never hid my affections. Why do you act like I merely put up with your presence, rather than welcome it?”

She took a deep breath then, her chest rising and falling once before she cast her eyes downward. She was obviously overwhelmed with his impassioned speech. She stayed silent for a long moment, picking at the edges of the rags nervously, fraying the edges into oblivion. Henry cleared his throat, feeling like he was close to getting to the root of the problem, and he took a gamble as he cleared his throat. 

“Josie, it’s alright if you have feelings for me in the same way that I have feelings for you.” He said finally, and he knew he had hit the nail on the head by the way she tensed up, clutching the fabric tightly in her hands. 

“I’d like to drop this conversation for now.” She said, voice soft. “I need to think.” 

Henry sighed, nodding as he picked his book back up to begin studying again. It looked like he’d be waiting a little longer for him to have the conversation that he truly needed. 

They didn’t speak about it until Josie slid into bed late that night, scooting all the way up to the pillow boundary, resting her cheek on the pillow that separated them. 

“Will you turn the light on?” She asked softly, and Henry yawned, rolling over to flip his lamp on before rolling back over to face her. She looked incredibly anxious as she slid a piece of paper across the pillow to him, quickly retreating until her head was the only thing above the blankets was her head. She looked incredibly adorable burrowed under the blankets, and he gave her a soft smile as he reached out and took the folded slip of paper from where she had set it in between them. 

“Do you want me to read this now?” He asked, and she nodded once. He chuckled, shifting to sit up and rest against the headboard, unfolding the note that had his name written in neat script on the front. 

_Henry,_

_I have a great deal of trust issues. And intimacy issues. And about a hundred different other issues that would take a great deal of paper to write out. The bottom line is this: I have issues. I think that much is clear._

_That being said, it’s very hard for me to say the things I feel out loud, so Anne gave me the idea of writing it in a note for you to read. It seems a bit silly, since I’ll be sitting right next to you when you read this yet I’m unable to simply say it, but it doesn’t hurt to try and see if this is helpful._

_I have a crush on you Henry. And I have for a very long time. It sounds so juvenile saying it like that, considering that we’re already married, but I can not find a better way of saying it. If I’m being honest, it was during one of our many letters back and forth that I first began developing feelings for you. I suspected that you felt some sort of way about me, seeing as how bold you were at the fair and how insistent you were to keep up our correspondence. It scared me, and it is easier to be indifferent than vulnerable. I thought that someone as wonderful as you never would have wanted someone like me, especially if you knew my past. I suppose I’ve been playing a big game with you since the moment we met, seeing how much pushing away it would take for you to actually leave, yet over and over again you have proven me wrong. It isn’t a fair game, I’m afraid to say, and one that I’ve tried to make you lose. I’m sorry for that._

_The last time I put my heart into a man’s possession, he destroyed it quite spectacularly, and sometimes I fear it is something that I will never recover from. The hurt lingers in my soul, even when I don’t recognize that it’s there. That betrayal is knit into the very depths of my being, and part of me knows that this will be something I carry for the rest of my life. The hurt I have endured forces my hand and makes decisions without me realizing it, saying that it will keep me safe when in reality, it is keeping me isolated from those that might bring light and joy into my life._

_I don’t want to be scared, Henry. That’s why it took me being ridiculously drunk to actually ask you to kiss me the way you did. And it was a marvelous kiss that made me feel things that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Seeing the way I could be kissed night after night if it weren’t for my fear makes me feel so many different emotions. I hope it doesn’t make you jealous for me to say this, but Billy never kissed me the way you did the other night. It opened my eyes to something I had never experienced before: passion, love, and adoration. I would like it if we could kiss like that again sometime, perhaps soon? Maybe not as passionate at first, it’s still a very overwhelming thought to my sober mind. I don’t think I’m ready for there to be any sort of touching yet either. That still makes my heart pound a little too much. But kissing seems like a fine middle ground for now, don’t you agree? I just need some time to let myself believe that you truly, unselfishly love me. I can’t say that I’ve been loved like that before, by anyone. It might take awhile for me to come to terms with that reality._

_Anyways, that’s what I had to say. I have feelings for you in the romantic sense, however tentative they may be. And I would like for you to kiss me more. I’m sorry it took me so long to say so._

_Your little mouse,_ _  
__Josie_

He was unable to wipe the smile off of his face as he finished reading the letter, carefully folding it again and setting it on his bedside table before rolling on his side to face his wife. She looked absolutely petrified, huddled up underneath their quilt, watching him with wide eyes. 

“Josie?” He said carefully. “May I hold you?” 

She nodded hesitantly after a moment, and he chuckled as she sat up, and he gingerly pulled her into his lap, cradling her in his arms. He held her tightly to his chest, burying his face into her shoulder. After a few seconds of apprehension he felt her relax, and she wrapped her arms around him, clutching onto him tightly. 

“You’re so brave, little mouse.” He said as he pulled away from her shoulder, beaming with pride as he tilted her chin upwards to look at him. “Words can’t begin to describe how proud I am of you for this. You’re wonderful, absolutely wonderful.”

“Stop that.” Josie mumbled, hiding her face in his chest. He chuckled, peppering the top of her head with kisses. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I will.” He said, still beaming as she looked up to give him a dirty look. “Oh, wipe that look off of your face. You just told me you have feelings for me, forgive me for being excited that the woman I’ve been head over heels for since the moment I met her feels the same.” 

Josie blushed, her irritation melting away to bashfulness, and she quickly leaned forward to kiss his cheek before she scrambled out of his lap and onto her half of the bed. Once she was back under the covers Henry chuckled, laying down on his side to mirror her, resting his head in his hand as he looked at her in awe. 

“You’re beautiful.” He said with a wistful sigh. 

“You’re ridiculous.” She countered, rolling her eyes at him while also biting back a silly grin that told him that she wasn’t serious in her scolding. He just chuckled, slowly reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled, taking a deep breath as her eyes fluttered closed, savoring his touch. He scooted inwards ever so slightly, pressing himself against the wall of pillows between them.

“May I kiss you?” He asked, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt as if he were close to bursting with how much emotion had accumulated there, and he needed to show her just how he felt about her, if she would allow him. 

Her eyes slowly opened, her breath catching slightly when she realized how close he was to her. Her gaze flickered down to his lips for a brief moment, returning back to his eyes, which were watching her with an intensity that she had not seen before. Part of her was frightened by his request, she knew that the kiss he wanted was not going to be their usual quick kiss goodnight. He was going to kiss her like he did the night she was drunk, and she was aware that she was already laying down. It wouldn’t take much for him to take control of the situation. 

But she knew that he wouldn’t do that. He would never think of doing such a thing, because he loved her. And with that sacred truth in mind she took another deep breath and gave him her answer. 

“Yes.” 

____________

Anne’s departure from Toronto marked the beginning of the sprint towards the end of the school year. Her visit also marked a pivotal moment in Josie and Henry’s relationship. Henry could tell Josie was more at ease around him, there were still things she was wary about, but he could take her hand without her flinching and she was more affectionate with him both at home and in public. He considered both of those things great victories for them, and celebrated every baby step with her. 

His favorite part though, and something he was almost positive she enjoyed just as much, was the new step in their physical relationship. 

There was no risque touching still, Josie admitted the night she had given him her note that she was very much not ready for such a thing, and even kissing in a bed proved to be overwhelming, but they took that in stride. They found themselves kissing like fools often, and while Henry was the instigator more often than not, as time passed Josie’s confidence grew and some days she would pounce on him the moment he walked through the door. Poor Gilbert had found them in compromising positions more often than he was comfortable with, but Henry didn’t seem to care. He lived for the moments he could kiss his wife senseless. Sometimes he would be sitting on the couch reading, and all he would have to do is give her a flirty look and a pat on his lap and she would appear there, sitting across his lap with a playful smile on her face as she wound her arms around his neck to draw him into a kiss. Other times he would wrap his hands around her narrow waist and lift her up, setting her down on the first flat surface he could get her on, whether that be his desk, the kitchen table, the back of the couch, the lip of the basin in the kitchen, it didn’t matter. She would always squeal quietly, giggling at his forwardness as he pressed their lips together. 

Since the bed was off limits for any sort of passionate kissing, nighttime became their time where they delved deep into each other’s hearts and heads, getting to know each other intimately between the sheets without ever taking their clothes off. The pillow that had split the bed in half for as long as they had shared it disappeared one night with little fanfare, and it was not uncommon for them to talk late into the night, cuddled up in each other’s arms. It seemed like they talked about everything under the sun, from their childhoods and favorite games they played growing up, to the deep sense of betrayal Josie felt from her family’s reaction to her assault and Henry’s slight resentment for his father instilling too much stoicism in him. With every night spent talking, fingers intertwined and resting between them, their hearts grew more and more fond of the other. 

When the day came for them to move out of the little apartment that had seen them through nearly the first six months of their marriage, Josie cried like a baby, hidden away in their bedroom so no one could see. She had grown fond of Toronto, its sights and smells and the confectionary that they had spent way too much money at. Even the ladies at church had grown on her, and as much as she hated crying in front of others, she hadn’t been able to hold her tears back when they presented her with a quilt they had all worked onto together for her new home, along with a beautiful cookbook of all of the recipes they had shared with her when she had first moved to Toronto and had no idea how to be a proper wife. The gifts touched her deeply, and she let all of the women wrap her up in their arms and hold her for a good long time while she cried her tears of gratitude. 

When the time came for them to leave and head to the train station, Josie hugged Gilbert tightly around the neck, biting down hard on her cheek to keep herself from crying again. She couldn’t deny that she valued and cherished Gilbert deeply after living with him for so long. Even though she never asked him to assume the role, he had become her advocate and protector, especially in the early days of her marriage before she truly began trusting Henry. He looked out for her when she needed it most, and when she finally learned to accept help from others, she truly began to appreciate all of the little ways Gilbert had worked to make her transition to Toronto a smooth one. 

With hugs given, promises made to write to Gilbert when they got settled, and the coach loaded up with their trunks, the journey to their new home began. 

The Tremblay ranch reminded Josie of the best parts of Avonlea. The wide open fields and sweet smelling breezes were enough to remind her of home, but not enough to remind her of the vicious gossips that lived there as well. The small town close-mindedness certainly wasn't as prevalent as it was in Avonlea, and even though they lived outside of the city, Ottawa was still large enough that everyone didn’t know everyone else’s business. For that alone, Josie liked living in Ottawa a great deal more than she liked living in Avonlea. 

It wasn’t a seamless transition, of course. Josie still hardly knew Henry’s family, and suddenly living a stone's throw away from them was a very big adjustment to make. 

“Does your mother know you’re here?” Josie asked one afternoon as Ethel blew into her kitchen like a hurricane, tracking dirt and grass with her from where she had stomped through the yard. Josie huffed, already knowing the answer to her question as she worked on making a batch of scones.

“Nope!” Ethel chirped, popping up on her toes to peer in the bowl. 

“Will you please mind your shoes, Ethel? I just swept in here!” She scolded lightly, nudging her towards the closet to grab the broom. “You clean up the mess you made and maybe I’ll think about sharing with you.” 

Josie made her redo the task three times before she was satisfied with the condition of her floor, leaving the child very grumpy. 

“Why don’t you just hire someone like Mrs. Florence to help you?” She huffed moodily as she put the broom back in its place, stomping back over to where Josie had set up a stool beside her work area, clamoring up on it so that she could be a part of the action. 

“I don’t need any help, it’s just Henry and I here. Most of the time, that is. We seem to be having a very frequent uninvited visitor lately.” She teased, dipping her finger in flour and tapping Ethel’s nose. She giggled, repeating the action to Josie in response. 

“Well what about when you have a baby? Won’t you need help then?” Ethel asked innocently, and Josie chuckled. While Ida and her mother in law were still as nosy as could be when it came to when she would be pregnant, Ethel’s innocent curiosity didn’t annoy her in the slightest. 

“I’ll have you around, won’t I?” She said with a smile, her heart warming at the excited squeal that left her sister-in-law. 

“I know that noise anywhere.” Henry chuckled as he entered the kitchen, pulling his hat off and hanging it on the hook by the door. “Dare I ask what caused it?” 

Josie opened her mouth to reply, but was not quick enough for the over excited child beside her. “Josie said that when she has a baby, _I_ can help take care of it!” She said, bouncing up and down with jubilation. Henry’s eyebrows lifted in amusement as he crossed the kitchen to them, ruffling his sister’s hair lightly. 

“Did she now?” He said, giving Josie a flirty look as he bent down to kiss her temple, setting a solid hand on the curve of her waist. “Let me know when you’d like to get to work on that, sweetheart. I'd be happy to oblige.” He whispered in her ear, making her cheeks turn a bright crimson as she swatted at his chest. 

“Stop that.” She scolded, even though there was no heat to her words. 

That had been another conversation that had come up in the few weeks since they had moved. Being around Ida, and Lucy by extension, had brought on a baby fever that Josie had not expected. After many tears and talks about children and the process of making them later, the two were on the same page that they both wanted children, but they would not risk Josie’s mental state to get them. Intimacy would come in its own time, and when it came they would not try to prevent a child from coming from it. 

For the time being they enjoyed kissing and cuddling in bed at night, and Josie felt optimistic about their future. She knew that she wanted to be intimate with Henry, and that she trusted him, she just needed to get through her own mental blocks before she would be able to. 

“Mother is looking for you, Ethel.” Henry said, taking the plate that had been left for him from the counter, removing the cloth that Josie had set over it and taking a seat at the table to eat his lunch. “She’s going to box your ears if you keep running off without telling her where you’re going, even if you are just coming here to spend time with Josie.” 

“It doesn’t hurt that bad.” She grumbled in response, and Henry chuckled. 

“Then you obviously haven’t made her angry enough yet, she made my head spin when I was younger.” He said, giving his little sister a pointed look. Ethel simply rolled her eyes and swiped a few raisins from the bowl, popping them in her mouth before sliding off of the stool. 

“You’re no fun.” She huffed, and Josie giggled, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of the girl’s head. 

“Go see what your mother wants, and I’ll be over in a little while with these scones. We can have tea together, how does that sound?” She promised, and with that assurance the girl’s whole demeanor changed and she giggled, hugging Josie around the waist before bounding out of the house, only stopping when she passed Henry to shove her finger in her mouth then stick it in his ear, earning an annoyed groan from him and a light shove as she giggled like a maniac and ran out of the house, letting the door slam behind her with a loud _bang!_ as she went. 

“Harry taught her that, I just know it.” Henry grumbled, face twisted in disgust as he wiped saliva from his ear. Josie giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand. Henry raised an eyebrow at her, standing up from the table. 

“Do you want to see what it’s like? I’m sure you won’t be giggling if you were in my shoes.” He said with a playful, mischievous look in his eye.

“Don’t you dare, Henry Samuel.” Josie warned, thankful for the workbench between them. He gave her a devilish smirk and stuck a finger in his mouth, then he was darting around the counter towards her. She squealed at the sudden pursuit, running away from him as he chased her around the kitchen. 

“No! Don’t!” She laughed as he caught her and wrapped an arm around her waist, hauling her up onto the workbench as if she weighed nothing. “Henry! I’m going to have flour all over my dress now!” 

“I’ll wipe it off for you.” He said cheekily, resting a hand on either side of her as he leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. She laughed against his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck to draw him in closer. He nibbled on her lower lip, gently resting his hands on her thighs, just above her knees. “Is this alright dear?” He asked, dragging his lips across her cheek to her neck. She hummed, nodding in consent and tipping her head back to let him kiss up and down the column of her throat. She sighed happily, feeling butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she loosely wrapped her leg loosely around his hip, keeping him close to her as he rubbed her thighs gently. 

“Ethel! Mother is looking-” Ruthie shouted, stomping into the house. Henry and Josie’s heads whipped to the door to look at the intruder, finding horror painted all over her face at the position she had found them in. 

“Gross, Henry!” Ruthie yelled, looking as if she might throw up. “Get off of her!” 

“This is my house!” Henry shouted back. “I can do whatever I please, wherever I please. You lot need to learn how to knock!” 

With a shout of frustration and mortification Ruthie was gone, the door slamming once more. Only once she was gone did the couple begin laughing, heads thrown back as their guffaws filled the tiny cottage. 

“We live too close to your family.” Josie said, resting her hands on her husband’s shoulders, and he shook his head with a chuckle, helping her down from the counter, keeping his hands on her waist even once she was back on the ground. “Ruthie’s going to be angry as a bull at us for seeing that, even though she was the one who walked in without asking.” 

Henry rolled his eyes. “She’s fifteen, she’s angry about everything.” He said. “Perhaps my family will start learning the importance of knocking and the dangers of showing up unannounced.” 

“We can only hope.” Josie giggled, pulling him back in for a kiss that was thankfully uninterrupted. 

__________

May faded into June, and on an absolutely blistering day, Josie pulled out all of the letters that her friends had sent to her since she got married, all of them unopened, their contents a mystery that she was not sure she was ready to uncover. She was sure that the letters would change her life even more than it already had been, but she knew that she could not delay the inevitable anymore. She took a picnic blanket and set up camp underneath a large tree in her yard in hopes of catching a breeze, hoping that Ethel or Lillian would not try and make an appearance while she was reading. 

She opened Diana’s first, feeling the most confident about that one being positive, seeing as she knew about her assault before it was revealed to everyone. She broke the seal with trembling hands, pulling out the letter and scanning it’s contents. 

It was as she expected it to be. Diana gave her sincerest apologies for what had transpired after the panto, and for not coming to her aid when Billy had approached her. She held no ill will towards her for her lack of action though, she understood completely. The scandal, while obviously impacting her the most, had rippled out and touched her friend’s lives as well. Diana told her that her mother had been appalled to learn that she knew how reproduction worked, and that Diana was to never interact with Anne ever again. Naturally, Diana and Anne had found some way to skirt the restriction placed upon them, but she also knew that she had been heartbroken when she had been banned from attending Anne and Gilbert’s wedding. Josie knew that she would be writing Diana a response, though she couldn’t say the same to the other letters. 

She read Ruby’s next, and was relieved to see her response was much like Diana’s. She didn’t understand how Billy could have done such a thing, and if the tear stains on the paper were anything to go by, she knew that Ruby was deeply affected and hurt by the news of her assault. She was also terrified, seeing how disastrous Anne and Gilbert’s situation had turned out to be, that she and Moody had come to the decision that their relationship would no longer feature any sort of kissing or wandering hands, too scared of facing the same fate as their friends. It broke Josie’s heart, knowing that Anne and Gilbert had become a cautionary tale in Avonlea, but she also had hope knowing that the two were stronger than ever before because of the debacle. 

She added Ruby to her mental list of people she needed to respond to. 

Tillie’s letter was short, barely even a quarter of a page, and said that her parents had told her in no uncertain terms that she was never to speak to her or Anne ever again, and with that a lifetime of friendship was gone. Josie almost cried then, but was able to restrain herself and withhold her grief. Hadn’t they spent night after night talking about how they were women of the world, grown and sure footed, who could think and make decisions for themselves? Yet when it truly came down to it, Tillie’s parents had told her what to do, and she obeyed. It was a poor consolation prize that her letter ended saying that she was happy someone had married her, and Josie tore the letter into a billion little pieces in frustration, dumping the scraps back into the envelope before setting it aside. 

She wasn’t able to hold back her tears when she read Jane’s letter. 

She knew that the moment Billy raped her, that her friendship with his sister was as good as over. Even if she hadn’t known about her assault, Josie couldn’t look at Jane the same way. A part of her knew that if she were to ever find out, Jane would take her brother’s side without question. She had put distance between them to try and soften the blow, hoping that they would eventually drift apart and the separation would be relatively painless. Despite all of her careful preparation, the wave of grief that washed over her as she read Jane’s letter and confirmed everything she knew to be true was absolutely debilitating. 

She blamed her. Said she should have known better, that she shouldn’t have snuck out. She was being unreasonable, and should have listened to Billy and heard him out at the panto. That Gilbert had beat him so badly that he wasn’t able to leave the house for close to a month, and that her parents had considered having Gilbert arrested for the altercation, yet hadn’t because they thought it (she was able to read through the lines, she knew that when they said _it_ they meant _her)_ would be more trouble than it was worth. 

Josie wasn’t going to go to the trouble of writing back, if she was that much of a thorn in the side of the Andrews family. If Jane wouldn’t believe her and take the side of her brother, she would have to accept that and move on. 

The last letter in the stack was one that she had been shocked to receive, and frankly, was the one she was most anxious to read. She truly did not know what the letter from Prissy Andrews would hold, and the enigma of it made her stomach twist in painful knots. 

_March 13, 1901_

_Dear Mrs. Tremblay,_

_I know I am probably the last person you ever expected to hear from, and in truth, I would not be surprised if you threw this letter into the fire without even opening in. I pray that this is not the case, and that you find it in your heart to read this, which is why I will continue on._

_I want to say that I am deeply and truly sorry for the hurt that my brother, and my family by extension, has caused you. I would not wish the pain you have endured on my worst enemy, and I know my words are a weak balm and a poor substitution for the real apologies you deserve, but I hope that it offers you at least some measure of comfort._

_I think you are incredibly brave for ending the courtship, and not folding when my brother approached you a second time. Not many women nowadays would have the strength to do that, so I commend you on that end. I like to think that the world is changing, and one day victims of assault will be believed and supported, rather than condemned and shamed. We might never live to see that day, but all we can do is band together and pray for change to come quickly._

_Again, I’m probably the last person you ever wanted to hear from, and if you’ve made it this far, know that I do not expect anything from you. I just wanted to let you know that somewhere out there, you have an ally in me, and that I am on your side, forsaking my own family if need be. If it were possible, I would emancipate myself and separate myself from their hypocrisy completely, but as you know just as well as I do: women do not get a choice or a voice in today’s society. Again, we can only hope for change as we venture forth into this new century._

_I hope you can find peace, healing, and happiness in your new life, and that one day all of this will be a distant memory. Your assault is not the end of your life. You are much more than the definition my brother has assigned to you, he’s one of the least intelligent people I’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing. You are the one who decides what you’re worth, do not let anyone else tell you otherwise._

_Best,_

_Prissy Andrews_

She wasn’t sure how long she laid on the picnic blanket after she finished reading the letter, staring up into the limbs of the oak tree with the letters scattered around her, Prissy’s letter clutched in her hand. She didn’t react when a large shadow fell over her, blocking the sun from her face. 

“Are you alright, dear?” Henry asked, giving her a look of concern, curiosity, and amusement. She pursed her lips, unsure of how to answer, and stuck her foot up in the air with a sigh. 

“Will you take my shoes off?” She asked, earning herself a chuckle from her husband, and he gingerly began untying her boots, dropping them haphazardly onto the ground. She kept her feet up, resting against his thighs after he finished, glancing up at him with a small pout. “Stockings too?” 

Henry laughed again at her newest request, shaking his head as he peeled off her stockings, letting them join her shoes on the ground. He joined her on the blanket then, pulling his own shoes and stockings off before lying back, tucking his arms behind his head. 

“Let me ask again: are you alright?” He said, eyebrows knitted together in concern. Josie sighed, turning her head to look at him. 

“I read all of the letters that my friends have written to me since December.” She explained. He hummed in acknowledgment, nodding for her to continue if she wanted to. She sighed, wishing that it wasn’t so hot outside so that she could curl up against him and let him wrap his arms around her. Instead she let the weak summer breeze brush against her bare feet, dragging them aimlessly over the fabric of the blanket, occasionally brushing against his foot with hers as she continued. 

“It was about what I expected it to be. The friends I expected to stay, stayed. The ones who I was unsure of didn’t surprise me.” She said simply. “I’ll have to work myself up to writing and sending the responses that need to be sent.” 

Henry nodded, reaching out to play with a strand of hair that had come loose from her bun. She closed her eyes, relaxing into his touch. 

“Is there anything you’d like me to do?” He asked, and Josie shook her head, letting the sun warm her face as she leaned her cheek into his hand. 

“Just stay by my side, big bear. I can handle the rest.” She said, and when Henry leaned over to brush a feather light kiss against her cheek a moment later, she could do nothing but smile, knowing for certain that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

_____________

Ida was not an ignorant woman. In fact, she liked to think that she was quite intelligent and perceptive, especially when it came to reading people. Because of her carefully honed skill with seeing past what people wanted others to see, she had been curious of her sister-in-law from the moment they had met. There was something to her that she didn’t make well known, and it had taken her months to carefully piece together the clues and perceptions she had gathered from Josie. 

She waited until they were alone one afternoon, sipping tea on the porch of the small house while the little girls were out on an errand with her mother. Knowing that they wouldn’t be interrupted, Ida approached the subject. 

“You’re good with her.” She said casually, smiling down at Lucy, who was babbling happy in the blonde woman’s arms. 

“Thank you.” Josie said, looking more relaxed than ever as she rocked the little girl back and forth. Ida could tell that the woman loved her daughter, and children in general. She could see the way she gazed longingly at the other children at church, and how much she loved having Ethel around. Her adoration for children, yet the lack of having her own despite being married for the better part of the year and her irritation whenever she or her mother brought up the topic had given Ida more information than Josie had meant to. They had been forced to drop the subject when Henry had confronted them about it, claiming that it distressed Josie when they asked her about it constantly. 

“You know, you could easily have one of your own if you shared the marriage bed with my brother.” She said casually, taking a small bite from one of the finger sandwiches Florence had made for them. She watched as Josie went stiff at the blunt statement, hackles raising defensively. 

“How dare you say such a thing, Ida.” She said tersely. “Of course I’ve shared the marriage bed with Henry, we’ve been married for close to six months now.” 

“So he withdraws then?” Ida pushed, raising an eyebrow at her. Josie blushed furiously at the thought. 

“I would like for this conversation to end now, if you’d please.” She said, holding Lucy out for Ida to take. She didn’t move to take her child back, knowing that as long as she was holding the baby, she couldn’t go anywhere, and she couldn’t just set the child down on the ground and walk away. Perhaps it was a tad manipulative, but she wanted to solve the enigma that was her sister-in-law once and for all. 

“But I’d like for it to keep going, sister.” She replied, her resolve firm. “Now tell me, do you like women, or did someone hurt you?” 

“I beg your pardon?” Josie asked, voice an octave higher than normal from her shock. She didn’t even look irritated like she normally did, just taken aback by the blunt question. 

“My brother said there were unique circumstances that necessitated your marriage, and you don’t have a child yet and don’t enjoy people touching you, which leads me to believe that you haven’t been with my brother in an amorous sense. That leads me to two theories: you’re fond of the feminine form, or someone has hurt you and made you wary of touch. I can assure you that I will not think of you differently regardless of what the truth is. And perhaps I am horribly wrong in my assumption, and in that case I would have to ask you for your forgiveness, but I don’t think that is the case.” 

She watched as a myriad of emotions flew across the other woman’s face after she had said her piece, looking as if she was almost in pain from the feelings swirling within her until finally she sighed, keeping her eyes down as she said, “I don’t like women.” 

Ida nodded solemnly, her heart aching in her chest. She knew women that had been hurt by the men in their lives, and truth be told, she knew that was likely to be the answer before it was even confirmed. “That’s what I thought. One of my best friends growing up was like you, and it’s an awful, terrible thing. Who was it then? Your father? Grandfather?” 

“My beau.” She said, her voice soft and vulnerable. “Not Henry, I met him after the fact.”

“My brother would never dream of hurting anyone. That is, unless they deserved it. But he would never hurt a woman, especially you, that much is certain.” Ida said, taking another bite of her sandwich as Josie bit down hard on her bottom lip, sighing quietly as she gathered her resolve to tell the full story even though Ida had not asked for it. 

“I snuck out of my boarding house one night to see him, I thought we might talk and perhaps kiss a little, but I didn’t think he would…” She trailed off, looking more and more upset as she told her story, yet she continued onward. “Anyways, I ended the courtship, and he seemed to think that meant that I needed space and would come back to him one day. When I told him that would not be the case, he very publicly revealed what he did to me, while also declaring that my best friend and her beau had been less than chaste as well. I guess he couldn’t settle with destroying just one person’s life. He was a brutish sort of man, he always enjoyed breaking things that weren’t his.” She laughed bitterly, shaking her head at the thought of her former beau. 

“After my assault was brought to light, naturally everyone in town saw me as a harlot, even though I was not a willing participant. My reputation was ruined, and I was going to be shipped off to the states to live with a great aunt I’ve never met. That is, until an absolute bear of a man heard my story and showed up at my door looking more frazzled than I had even seen him, begging me to marry him.” 

“My brother, I assume?” Ida laughed, and Josie nodded, a fond smile playing on her lips. 

“That would be correct. It took a lot of convincing and many promises that we would never have to consummate our marriage unless I wanted to, but I made the best decision of my life and said yes. I’m sure you know the rest.” Josie finished her story, bouncing Lucy in her lap.

“That certainly is a tumultuous tale. I’m sorry that happened to you, no one deserves to be hurt the way you were.” Ida chuckled, taking a sip of her tea. 

“All I ask is that you please don’t tell anyone. Your father, Henry, and now you are the only ones who know the full truth, and I would like to keep it that way. My reputation is already destroyed in one province, I don’t think I could bear being run out of another.” She pleaded, looking up at her with desperation filled eyes. 

“Who would I tell?” She said with a snort. “It’s none of my business, frankly. I just wanted for you to stop brooding and know you have a confidant, should you need one. You don’t have to go about these things alone, you know.” 

Josie snorted humorlessly. “You would like to hear of my intimacy issues with your brother?” She said flatly, and Ida couldn’t help but laugh lightly at the comment. 

“Well, I would prefer to not know about how he is in the matters of marriage- and the only thing I’ll say on the topic is that if you’re scared of it hurting, a little vaseline does wonders to make the machine run smoothly, if you know what I mean.” She said, giving her a pointed look, and Josie blushed while Ida continued. “On other topics, though, I would be more than willing to listen. Should you need a friend, you can find one in me. That’s all.” She explained with a small shrug, and Josie relaxed slightly. 

“You Tremblay’s are incredibly vexing sometimes, do you know that?” She said. “Subtlety isn’t your strong suit. First Henry shows up at my door with no warning begging me to marry him, and here you are now practically cornering me to figure out my dirty laundry.” 

“It’s a family trait, what can we say?” Ida said with a small laugh, reaching out to take Josie’s hand in hers gently as she took on a more serious tone. “And I’m sorry for how blunt I was, I was afraid you would just be a crotchety wench for the rest of your life if I didn’t pry it out of you. You’re only consistently nice to Henry, the rest of us walk around on eggshells.” 

Josie rolled her eyes. “I apologize that my defense mechanism is inconvenient for you.” She said sassily, and Ida smiled. 

“As long as you’ll admit that it is one, that is something I could work with.” She said, giving her hand one last squeeze, letting go and plucking Lucy from her arms as the baby began to fuss, more than likely ready to be fed. She stood, ready to excuse herself to take care of her daughter. 

“Ida?” Josie said, grabbing her attention as she set off down the stairs. She stopped, turning around slowly as she bounced Lucy in her arms. 

“Yes, sister?” She asked, and Josie bit her lip nervously. 

“The lack of a child isn’t because of a lack of desire for one. We’re working on it.” She said slowly, turning pink. Ida laughed, gently setting Lucy in her pram. 

“Actively?” She teased, and if it were possible, the blush gracing her face grew darker. 

“ _No_ ,” She said shortly, rolling her eyes. “But I hope that I’ll be ready soon.” 

Ida offered her a small smile, nodding in agreement. “I hope you will be too. You’ll be a wonderful mother some day.” 

With that she turned, setting off down the path. She had only gotten a little ways away from the small house when she heard her name being called, and turned to see Josie running behind her, her skirts swishing rapidly around her ankles. Without any warning, the blonde woman threw her arms around her neck, hugging her tightly for a brief moment. It was a short embrace, but the honor she had been bestowed by it was not lost of her. 

“Thank you.” Josie said, her breath coming out in short pants, and before she could say anything back Josie was running back towards the house, and Ida could only chuckle. 

“She doesn’t realize it yet, but she loves my brother, little Lucy,” She laughed conspiratorially, looking down at her fussy baby as she kept walking down the path. “My guess is that she’ll be pregnant before the year is out, and you’ll be a cousin. How exciting will that be, my sweet?” 

____________

“Ida knows what happened to me.” Josie said that night as they crawled into bed. He had reached for her, wanting to pull her into his arms and kiss her silly like he did most nights once they were in bed, but her statement let him know quickly that no kissing would be happening that night. Instead he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest as she made herself comfortable against him, his hands resting on the small of her back. Though his hands had not strayed to her backside or chest in their kissing, which was an idea she had secretly pondered recently and was becoming more and more curious of, he knew she liked his hands on her back, so he found himself placing them there more often than not. His palms easily covered the entirety of it as he rubbed it gently, stroking it up and down with soothing movements. 

“Did you tell her?” He asked, and Josie snorted, giving him her answer. “I’m sorry, darling. She’s awfully nosy, I can speak to her about it, if you’d like.” 

“I don’t suppose I mind too much in this case.” She said lightly. “She meant well. I’m always so reluctant to tell people, but I find that once someone knows, and I can trust them, that I feel a great deal better than I had before.” 

Henry hummed, holding her closer to his chest. “Well then, I’m glad Ida’s ability to stick her nose into other people’s business was beneficial to you, in this instance.” 

Josie chuckled, nodding her head as she nuzzled into his chest, feeling warm and content. Silence settled over them, and in the space right between wakefulness and unconsciousness, Josie spoke up. 

“Henry?” 

“Yes, little mouse?” He asked with a yawn, clearly more towards sleep than consciousness 

“If you would like to hold my bottom while we sleep, I don’t think I would be opposed to it.” She said, feeling his heart speed up ever so slightly at her consent, and then hers sped up as well as his hand slid down over the curve of her backside, his fingers pressing into the flesh gently. She couldn’t help but gasp quietly at the touch, and the way it made her body feel warm in the unfamiliar way that she was quickly becoming accustomed to. 

“I love you, Josie.” Henry said, his voice trembling slightly. 

“I know.” She said, her smile hidden in the fabric of his nightshirt. “Goodnight, big bear.” 

__________

“I can feel you sometimes.” Josie said out of the blue one morning in early August as they got ready for the day. Henry raised an eyebrow at her from where he was getting dressed, wondering what she was going on about as he buttoned up his waistcoat. 

“Feel me?” He asked, slightly worried as he took in her uncertain expression. She nodded, turning away from her vanity to face him. 

“When you hold me at night, or when we wake up in the mornings, or when we kiss. I can feel... _you._ ” She said pointedly, her eyes flitting down to the front of his pants before jumping back up to meet his eyes once more. Her face was already bright red, and he was certain that he looked similar at her observation. Henry cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“I’m sorry,” He said slowly. “It’s not something I can control when I’m asleep, I understand if you’d like to put the pillow back between us, or I can sleep with my back to you.” 

Josie gave him a small smile, standing up from her chair to come over to him, brushing his hands away from his waistcoat as she slipped the last few buttons through their buttonholes. 

“It was surprising, when I first realized what it was that I was feeling, and I’ll admit it was a little frightening as well.” She said simply, eyebrows knitted together as she dutifully completed her task, smoothing out the wrinkles with her hands before resting them on his shoulders. “Will you let me see it? I think I might be less scared if I know what it looks like.” 

Henry’s brain went numb in his skull at her words, and he blinked down at Josie in shock at her request, his mouth hanging open. 

“Right now?” He asked dumbly, and she giggled with a shake of her head.

“No, your mother is expecting us at the big house for breakfast and I still need to get dressed. But maybe tonight?” 

Henry just nodded, still at a loss for words. Josie just smiled, pressing up on her toes to kiss his cheek before taking her spot back at her vanity to finish getting ready for the day. 

His day was doomed from that moment forward, a complete lack of productivity plaguing him as he tried to work, often reading over documents multiple times and still not absorbing a word that was on the page. But how does one focus knowing that his wife had asked to see the most private and intimate parts of his body? It was a frustrating cycle of trying to force the topic from his mind, yet being wholly unable to stop it from creeping its way back into his thoughts. 

Dinner was on the table when he entered the house after finishing work for the day, and Josie gave him a funny look as she took him in, setting down the last of the utensils and setting a hand on her hip. 

“Your hair's a mess.” She noted, and he snorted, leaning down to kiss the top of her head before taking his spot at the table. 

“I’ve run my hands through it quite a few times today.” He said simply, taking Josie’s hand to bless the food before tucking into the meal. 

“Something on your mind, big bear?” She asked casually, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I’ll let you take a guess.” He said, raising an eyebrow of his own back at her. Josie snorted, popping a piece of parsnip into her mouth, chewing slowly before she responded. 

“Did I really get you so out of sorts that you ruined your hair?” She asked, looking incredibly amused, and Henry rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, dear, you did.” He said, and Josie giggled, not saying anything else on the subject for the rest of the meal. 

His state of anxiety only grew worse and worse throughout the night until they were both in bed, his hands clasped together and resting on his abdomen, waiting for her to bring it back up. After a few minutes of agonizing silence, he said to hell with it and spoke up.

“It’s not going to look the same now as it would if we are about to...be intimate.” He said nervously, and Josie blushed, sitting up straighter beside him. 

“I know,” She said quietly. “But if I wanted to see it… that way… what would I need to do?” 

Henry couldn’t help but laugh then at the question, relaxing slightly. “Not much, little mouse. You know good and well that I find you incredibly desirable.” 

She blushed even brighter at the statement, taking a deep breath as if to steady herself before she spoke again. “I’m going to take off my nightgown.” She said suddenly, and Henry’s brain turned to mush for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. He gaped at her, and she floundered slightly, quickly picking up where she had left off. “Well, the top of it, at least. I think that’s what I’d like to do. Would that be enough to…” 

“Yes,” Henry said quickly, his voice much more strained than he cared to admit. “Yes I think that would do the trick.” 

Truthfully, he hadn’t seen anything yet and was already uncomfortably hard just at the thought of Josie exposing herself to him, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself or scare her off when they were making good progress in their relationship. Over the course of the summer she had given him more and more liberties with her body, and he indulged in touching her rump and breasts every so often when they kissed, but it had never been underneath her nightgown and he had never had the privilege of seeing her bare. So when she announced that she was ready for that step, he was more than willing to agree with her. 

He kept his eyes locked on hers as she slowly unbuttoned the top of her nightgown, exposing the pale skin of her chest and throat to him, leaving his mouth dry and his heart thundering rapidly in his chest. She broke their eye contact when she began pushing her chemise off of her shoulders, and then it was gone, leaving her bare to him from the waist up. 

Though Henry was known as a man of few words, he was rarely speechless. More often than not he had plenty that he could say, yet chose to keep his mouth shut in favor of listening instead. But now? He had no words for the sight of Josie in front of him, her breasts rising and falling with every breath she took, looking bashfully up at the ceiling. He ached to reach out and touch her, to run his fingertips over her rosy nipples to see if the action would bring her pleasure, but he withheld, keeping his hands firmly at his sides. 

“I suppose I could take my top off as well, if you’d like.” He said after a moment, waiting for her almost imperceptible nod before shucking off his nightshirt, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. With his upper half exposed he felt Josie’s eyes on him, a quiet gasp leaving her lips as she took in the sight of him. 

“Do you think we could lie down?” She asked, and Henry nodded. She could have asked him to kiss the premier and he would have said yes at this point. He was putty in her hands, and he wasn’t even sure she realized it. They shuffled around for a moment, getting comfortable on the bed together before Josie inhaled slowly. 

“I’m ready, whenever you are.” She said, sounding firm in her decision. Henry simply nodded, reaching for the laces of his drawers, pulling the knot with trembling hands before pushing them down over his hips. 

“ _Oh,_ ” Josie gasped quietly, and he couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that escaped him. 

“That isn’t necessarily what a man wants to hear, Jo.” He teased gently, looking over at her. She didn’t give him a dirty look like he expected from the tease, in fact she didn’t look away from where her eyes were locked on his lap, her eyes wide and her face bright red. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, reaching out slowly to grab her hand. She didn’t flinch at the touch, and slipped her hand in his. After an agonizingly long moment of silence he reached for his drawers to cover himself, only to have her stop him. 

“Does it hurt?” She asked, voice soft and curious. “It looks like it would.” 

Henry chuckled at the innocent question, bringing the intertwined hands up to his mouth to kiss it gently as he pulled his other hand away from his drawers. 

“No, it doesn’t.” He said. 

“Anne said-” She started, only to have him shake his head quickly. 

“I know you and Anne like to talk about such things, but please don’t mention those conversations to me, I don’t think my heart can handle it. I don’t think I’d look at Gilbert the same way ever again if I knew such things.” 

Josie laughed at that, the light sound making his heart soar a little bit. 

“Alright then,” She said slowly, swallowing her nerves as she restructured her original sentence so that she didn’t scandalize him. “In theory, I could touch it, and it would feel good.” 

Henry nodded in confirmation, blushing when he twitched at the thought. He looked up at Josie, momentarily breathless at her bare chest before he forced himself to look at her face to find her looking very unsure. 

“You don’t have to though,” He said. “In fact, this has been enough excitement for the night, don’t you think?” 

“But you’re still-” She countered softly, nodding to his hips. 

“It’ll go away on its own.” He shrugged, watching as she bit her lip again, worrying it between her teeth. 

“Could you touch yourself?” She asked after a moment, and Henry couldn’t help but groan at the request, his self control long having been used up. Her eyebrows shot upwards in surprise, and he looked away, embarrassed by his unrestrained action. “Henry, if that’s alright with you, I think I might want to watch.” 

He was once again at a loss for words, and he simply nodded, completely unable to say no to the woman lying next to him as he took himself in hand with little preamble, closing his eyes and moaning quietly from the first touch. He could feel Josie lying beside him, only six inches of space between them, and he longed to have her closer. 

“C-can I hold you, please?” He asked after a moment, opening his eyes to look at her as he continued to stroke himself, his release already building. With less hesitation than he had ever seen in her, she was nodding and scooting closer to him, tucking into his side as if she were the missing piece of a puzzle he hadn’t even known he had lost. 

Her bare skin was warm and sweet smelling as he buried his nose into her hair, running his hand up and down her back slowly as her breath caught at the touch. He felt her hand rest on his chest, and the pleasure he was feeling was only amplified by the feel of her fingers dragging over the skin of his abdomen, tracing the muscles and curves absentmindedly. He groaned loudly, too lost in his own mind as he lowered his head to rest on her chest, panting against the smooth skin in the valley between her breasts as his other hand fell to her backside, squeezing in firmly to pull a gasp from her lips as he tumbled over the edge, his body tensing as pleasure ripped through him, her name falling from his lips as he came. 

They didn’t move for a few moments after, basking in what had just happened between them. Henry opened his eyes slowly, his mind hazy as he floated down from the high he had brought himself to. He turned his head to find Josie blushing furiously, but not looking completely repulsed or terrified. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, and she nodded quickly. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” She assured him, looking up to meet his gaze. “Are _you_ alright?” 

He laughed then, nodding his affirmation as he dropped a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I am phenomenal, my little mouse. I am happy I could oblige your request.” He said, and she giggled, her eyes bright as her blush turned a shade darker. 

They didn’t say much after that, trading happy smiles and flirty looks as Josie pulled her nightgown back into its proper place and helped Henry clean up the mess he had made, letting him redress as well before they settled back into bed. She quickly settled in his arms, resting her head on his chest as she did most every night, finding his hand to intertwine their fingers. 

“Perhaps we could do that again soon?” She said, always waiting until the cusp of sleep to say the things that weighed heaviest on her mind. Henry chuckled, nodding once. 

“Whatever you ask of me dear, I will do my best to make it so.” 

____________

Their explorations continued slowly, their hands wandering and mapping out the contours of each other’s bodies. Josie knew that she wanted to touch him, to make him feel good and bring him the pleasure he had so patiently waited for. She was also almost completely sure that she wanted him to touch her as well. They had gotten to the point where he would touch her bottom and bosoms, and she had mustered up the courage to take off all of her clothes in front of him, and she had nearly cried at how gentle he was with her body. He looked at her with love and passion that she had never experienced before, and it wasn’t lust or selfish desire, it was his desire to make her feel loved and cared for that drove all of his kisses and caresses. 

Despite the fact that she knew what she wanted to do, there were still several mental blocks getting in the way of her making those desires a reality. 

“Henry?” Josie asked, pulling away from their kiss, lifting her hips so he could push her nightgown down and off of her. 

“Yes, little mouse?” He asked, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark. His chest was heaving slightly and his hair was a disaster from having her hands run through it, and the sight of him so rumpled only served to stoke the fire inside of her. 

“Does it bother you knowing that I’ve been with someone else like this?” She asked bluntly, finally freeing the question that had been sitting in heavy on her mind for a good long while. She wanted to believe that it didn’t matter, but in quiet moments when she thought about being intimate with Henry, Billy’s words from the panto rang through her mind and spoiled it.  _ Men don’t want other men’s leftovers. No one’s going to want you now.  _ Was that all she was? His leftovers? It had been well over a year since her assault, and she was slowly beginning to think that what he said wasn’t true. She thought about Prissy’s letter, and what she had said. She was starting to believe that more than the lies that Billy had told her. 

Henry’s eyebrows knitted together at her sudden question, his lips pursed together as he thought about her question for a few moments. 

“No,” He finally said with a shake of his head, and Josie released the breath she hadn’t been aware that she was holding, relief flooding her at the single word. 

She shook her head, and he chuckled, wrapping a hand around her hip, pulling her in close so that her chest was flushed with his. 

“Just, no?” She asked, raising an eyebrow up at him, unsatisfied with his lack of an explanation. He shrugged, hauling her into his lap so that she straddled his thighs, nuzzling the curve of her shoulder, dropping kisses along her soft skin at his leisure. 

“Just no.” He said, kissing his way to her mouth. “What happened to you and what we do are completely separate things in my mind. What bothers me is that he’s turned something that is supposed to be beautiful into something that frightens you.” 

“You don’t frighten me.” She said firmly, reaching up to brush her fingertips over his cheekbone, making his breath catch in his throat at the featherlight touch. “I like it when you touch me. I quite like the things we do.” 

He couldn’t help the prideful smile that graced his lips at her statement, and it prompted him to run a hand from her hip to her ribcage, gently cupping her breast in his hand, pulling a gasp from her lips at the touch. He smiled proudly, dragging the pad of his thumb over her nipple, satisfaction running through his veins when she shivered at the touch.

“You mean when I touch you like this?” He asked cheekily, and she nodded, dropping her head back so that he could kiss across her collarbones. 

“What about when I touch you like this?” He asked, his voice muffled by the skin of her chest before he took one of her nipples into his mouth, lavishing her breasts with little nips and kisses. She gasped at the sensations, tangling her fingers through his hair. 

“ _ Yes, _ ” She gasped, her back arching into his touch. He chuckled against her skin, lifting his head to give her a wink before he continued the trail he was blazing across her chest, letting his free hand drop to her backside, pulling her in closer to him on his lap. In the new position she could feel him, hard and hot, pressed against her belly and her heart raced at the feeling. What would he do if she were to reach down and touch him, to stroke him the same way she had seen him do it countless times before? It was a tempting thought, one she didn’t have much time to ponder before her attention was being pulled back to her husband. 

“All I want is to make you feel good, Jo.” He said, kissing up her neck so he could rest his forehead against hers as he let his hand wander from her backside down her thigh, then over the top of it before going back up, this time trailing his fingertips lightly up her inner thigh. “Would you consent to me trying to make it so? To make you feel good?” 

Her breath caught in her throat at the request, nerves twisting low in her belly at the thought of it. Or was it anticipation, telling her to say yes, to take that step into the deep with Henry? How could she even begin to tell the difference between the two? Could she trust herself to know what she wanted, to make the choice that she had not been previously allowed to?

She hesitated for a moment too long, because before she was able to give an answer Henry had moved his hand from her inner thigh, gently rolling her off of his lap to lay beside him on the bed. 

“How about we just slow down and talk tonight instead, would you like that?” He asked carefully, a sense of apprehension in his eyes that she knew meant that he thought he had been too bold in his request. The sense of disappointment that she felt of just talking gave her all the information she needed to know to make a decision. She was quick to take his hand in hers, shaking her head as she set it on her lower belly, the tips of his fingers just barely brushing the thatch of hair at the apex of her thighs. 

“No,” She said, trying her best to keep her voice even. “I’d like for you to try. If you still want to, that is.” 

Henry chuckled, his face and chest flushed red as he looked at her. “I don’t think I’ll ever not want to, my little mouse. Though I can’t promise I’m going to know what I’m doing.” 

She managed a nervous giggle, meeting his gaze to exchange a shy smile that made her heart melt. “That’s alright, I’m not a master of the subject myself.” 

“Then it appears that we’ll be learning together.” Henry said, pressing a kiss to the top of her nose as his hand slowly descended over her, pulling a gasp from her lips at the plethora of new sensations she was experiencing. It was a gentle, hesitant sort of exploration, uncharted territory for the both of them, and after a moment of fumbling she felt him sink into her slightly, and she gasped at the intrusion. His touch was gone just as soon as it had come, and Henry looked down at her with concern in his eyes. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, his eyebrows knitted together with worry. She shook her head quickly. 

“No, not at all. Just a little surprised is all.” She said, wrapping her hand around his wrist to put his hand back between her legs. “Would you keep going, please?” 

He nodded, pulling her into a slow kiss as he leaned her backwards on the bed to lie beside her. His heart was pounding in his chest, completely at a loss as to what he should have been doing. He had spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about what it would be like the day he was permitted to touch her so intimately, but now that he was in the moment, he didn’t know how to proceed. He would be damned if he did anything that made the experience anything less than fantastic for her, and that responsibility, though self-inflicted, weighed heavily on his mind. 

In the midst of his overthinking he didn’t realize that Josie had taken matters into her own hands during his moment of inaction and was in the process of moving his hand over her center, rolling her hips against him. 

“I’m fine, Henry. I want this, I promise.” She said, squeezing his wrist lightly to reassure him, letting it go so he could take over. Though he would always likely be more than cautious when it came to Josie, her consistent reassurance was what pushed him to continue, drawing another gasp from her lips as he repeated what he had done previously. 

They settled into a slow rhythm, kissing and caressing each other as his hand worked between her legs, occasionally earning a quiet moan or gasp for his efforts. Despite Henry’s worry that she wouldn’t enjoy the experience, she was finding that she enjoyed it a great deal. Something was building within her, the pressure between her hips growing tighter and tighter in a way she hadn’t known was possible. 

It was almost overwhelming how different it was, how good she felt compared to the horror of her assault.  _ Anne was right _ , she thought.  _ This is different in every possible way. _

“ _ Henry _ ,” She gasped, clutching onto him tightly as her hips rolled and writhed against his touch. “I’d like to reciprocate, if that’s alright with you.” 

Before he had time to respond she was reaching between them to wrap her hand around him, pulling a loud moan from her husband as she stroked him in time with his own movements. His reaction brought her no small amount of satisfaction, and she used her free hand to tangle her fingers through his hair, pulling him in for a bruising kiss as they chased their highs together. 

When it was all over, and they were panting, sweaty, boneless messes against each other, she wrapped her arms around Henry, clutching onto him tightly as she drifted down from the mind numbing sensations he had bestowed upon her. He pressed little kisses anywhere he could reach, peppering them along her forehead and shoulder as they caught their breath. 

“It doesn’t bother me, because what he did wasn’t what we do.” Henry finally said, holding her tightly. “What he did was selfish and vile. He didn’t have you, he took you. And I get to have you willingly, just as you have me willingly. Do you see the difference, my love?” 

Josie smiled against the skin of his chest, her heart full of affection for the man she was lying with, nodding once in affirmation as she nuzzled closer to him. “I think I’m beginning to.” 

_____________

“Josie, you look wonderful!” Anne squealed as she ran forward to hug the other woman, wrapping her arms tightly around her. The train station was bustling around them, but Anne didn’t seem to care at all as she rushed to greet her friend, Gilbert trailing closely behind her. 

“Are you insinuating that I looked terrible before?” She asked teasingly, returning the hug with equal vigor. Anne laughed, the sound as light as bells as she pulled away. 

“You know what I meant, you cow.” She shot back, pinching her arm lightly before turning to give Gilbert a polite hug while Anne did the same for Henry.

“What I meant,” Anne said a few minutes later as they made their way towards the carriage, her arm looped through her friend’s as they walked a few feet ahead of their husbands. “Is that you are positively glowing.” 

“Glowing, eh?” Gilbert chuckled, elbowing his friend lightly in the ribs. “I don’t suppose you have anything to do with that, now do you?” 

He received a dirty look and a hearty shove in response, and nothing more. 

The two women continued onwards, blissfully ignorant of them as they stopped at the carriage. 

“Well, thank you. I do think Ottawa has been very good to me.” Josie said, sneaking a small smile to Henry as he set their things in the carriage before helping her onto the back of it. 

“I can’t help but agree with you, my dear friend.” Anne said, taking note of the interaction as Gilbert urged the horse forward. 

The ride back to the orchard was filled with excited chatter about their lives since they had last seen each other. How work had been for Henry, what planning had been like for Anne and Gilbert’s “wedding” and how much of a fuss their friends had made to convince their parents to let them come. According to Anne, their friend’s mothers had been absolutely livid with Anne for telling their daughters the matters of life and conception, and not evening marrying Gilbert could have absolved that transgression. Tillie’s parents had been firm on their decision, and Jane had not been invited for obvious reasons, but Ruby and Diana had apparently raised hell in their fight to attend the wedding, and from what Anne could tell, they had turned out victorious in their quest. While Josie was sure that they would probably never see the day that forgiveness was given to Anne for sharing with them the information that she did, it did bring her some happiness to know that most of their friends were defying their parent’s wishes to come to Anne and Gilbert’s celebration. And if they used Josie as an excuse to visit the Blythe-Lacroix household, well, that was just another thing altogether, now wasn’t it?

“Do you suppose you’ll go visit your parents at some point?” Anne asked gently, looking over her shoulder at them. Josie bit her lip, looking warily over at Henry, who reached out to grab her hand comfortingly. They had talked endlessly about her parents in the days and weeks prior to their visit to Avonlea, with the conversations always revolving around how much they would interact with her family, if they did at all. Anne and Gilbert had offered them a room in their house, which Josie was immensely thankful for. If they had not, she would have had to ask her parents to accommodate them, which was the last thing she wanted to do. She still carried a lot of hurt from her parents and their callous reaction to her assault. They seemed much more occupied with saving their precious reputation than caring for their daughter who was obviously traumatized by the whole affair. And while Henry was a wonderful man and husband, she still couldn’t help but feel bitter about how eager they were to ship her off with a stranger to get her out of their hair. 

Part of her hadn’t even wanted to tell them about her visit to Avonlea, but Henry had finally convinced her, citing that she should at least tell them they would be in town so that they didn’t have to hear the news from someone else. She had written them a brief letter telling them as much, but also firmly stating that they would be lodging with the Blythes and she would probably be terribly busy visiting her old friends that she wouldn’t be able to stop by. 

“I haven’t decided yet.” Josie answered honestly, squeezing Henry’s hand lightly. “I guess if we happen to run into them while in town then we’ll speak, but at the moment I don’t think I want to set foot into that house.” 

Anne hummed in understanding, nodding once before she changed the subject to the dress that Rachel and Marilla had been slaving over for the party. 

It was only later that day when Josie and Henry had settled into the guest room at the orchard and were resting before dinner did he broach the subject of her family. 

“So that’s your decision? You don’t want to see them if you can’t help it?” He asked, and after a moment of thought Josie nodded in confirmation. 

“They hurt me, Henry.” She said, her voice small and sad. Henry sighed, having heard her lament over her family’s less than ideal reaction to her assault more than once. He pulled her close to him, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I know they did, sweetheart. I know. If we see them out and you don’t want to talk to them, I’ll run naked down the street to distract everyone while you run away.” He said, trying to get a laugh from her. He smiled when his endeavor proved successful, and she giggled into his chest, her fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt. 

“Maybe only down to your drawers, I’d hate to make the other ladies in town jealous.” She added, and Henry threw back his head and laughed. 

“Naughty little mouse.” He teased, leaning in to kiss her cheek as she giggled, all of the heaviness from her family gone as they cuddled and rested, forgetting all about the bad memories that came along with her hometown. 

_________

Anne and Gilbert’s wedding celebration was the grand affair it should have always been. The orchard was beautifully decorated with lace and summer flowers, though the flowering apple trees were beautiful on their own without needing a stitch of embellishment. 

Anne also was a vision, Marilla and Rachel really had outdone themselves with the creation of her dress, using a beautiful cream colored fabric with light blue floral accents. It wasn’t white by any stretch of the imagination, and it was still practical enough for Anne to wear it again, but there was no denying the bridal look to it. It was what Anne had always deserved, and if anyone asked her about it she would deny it until the day she died, but Josie couldn’t help but cry about how positively joyful her best friend was as they celebrated her marriage with their closest friends beside them. 

As the sun set and the older folks left, the young people of Avonlea retreated to the barn and pulled out candles and instruments (and a heinous amount of moonshine) and spent the night dancing and singing. Josie had helped herself to the moonshine, feeling warm and tipsy as she took turns dancing with everyone she could. In the end though, she was more than happy to be twirled around for hours on end in Henry’s arms, holding onto him tightly as he danced surprisingly well for a man of his size and stature. 

(And if her friends left the barn at the end of the night and found them kissing against a tree, well, she was a married woman enjoying the company of her husband. What was so wrong with that?) 

But even though the party was a resounding success, Josie’s favorite part of the day had to be before it even began. 

The morning of the celebration Gilbert was kicked out of the house right after breakfast along with Bash, Elijah, and Henry, who were all sent off to the orchard to prepare for the party while the women got ready. 

Josie and Anne were filling up the bathtub to bathe when the kitchen door swung open and Josie was ambushed in a flurry of blue and pink, falling to the ground under the dogpile of Diana Berry and Ruby Gillis. 

“Josie, my goodness we’ve missed you!” Ruby squealed at a ridiculously high pitch, hugging her around the neck. “Oh, I was so worried about you until I got your letter a few weeks ago! I thought you hated me!” 

Josie laughed, sitting up to look at her two friends. “Of course not! I just needed time, I hope you can understand how hellish the situation was.” 

Diana and Ruby nodded in understanding, clutching her hands tightly as they gave her empathetic looks. 

“Of course we do,” Diana said. “I kept reminding Ruby that you would talk to us when you were ready and not a moment before. Anne kept us updated so we knew that you were safe, and that was all we truly needed. We would have waited a lifetime, if we needed to.” 

“But I’m glad we don’t have to,” Ruby giggled happily, leaning in with a devilish grin. “We want to hear _all about_ this husband of yours. He’s quite handsome.” 

Josie blushed, standing up and turning to the water that was boiling to hide her bashful smile. Obviously, they knew that she was avoiding the topic, and they followed her in a flurry of titters and giggles. 

“Tell us Josie, is he a _proportional_ man?” Diana asked with a wicked grin on her face, and she blushed even more fiercely than she already had been. 

She thought back to when Clara Miller had asked her the same question seven months earlier, and how she had come so far from that moment until the one she was currently in. It seemed like she was a completely different person in a completely different relationship, and if she thought about it, that was because she _was_ a completely different person in every possible way. 

She looked up at her friends that had stuck with her through the worst moments of her life so far, and she knew that she trusted them more than anything. In that moment, she was reminded of what life had been like before her assault, like when they would sit in Anne and Diana’s room, giggling and gossiping until Mrs. Blackmore came and yelled at them to go to bed. She knew she would never go back to being that girl, her life had been completely altered after her assault and there were parts of her that were forever changed. But just because she was changed, and that hurt and pain still lingered in the cracks that Billy had left in her soul, didn’t mean that she couldn’t try her hardest to fill them with joy and laughter. 

So when Josie gave Diana, Ruby, and Anne the same answer she had given the church ladies, she realized that it was just as different as she was from the first time she had been asked the question. 

“It would be a shame if he wasn’t, now wouldn’t it be?” She said, a proud smirk on her face as the girls broke down into a fit of shrieks and laughs. 

And Josie happily laughed with them. 

__________

  
After Anne and Gilbert’s wedding celebration, the two lingered in Avonlea for a few more days, spending time with old friends and enjoying the slow country life that they didn’t always get in Ottawa. It was just as much a vacation for the two of them, and they were more than happy to put off work and real world obligations for a little while longer. 

“You go on ahead, dear. I know Gilbert needs you to pick up a few things before we go back to the orchard.” Josie said, squeezing her husband’s arm gently as they walked through town on their last day. “I want to pop into the general store, they had the most beautiful lace in stock when I was here with Ruby earlier in the week, and I want to take some back for your mother.” 

Henry smiled down at her, bending down to brush her cheek softly. He pulled out his coin purse and dropped a few coins into her hand, closing her hand over them before she could tell him it was too much. 

“Buy something nice for yourself, too.” He said, ignoring her dirty look as he squeezed her hand tightly. He winked at her before he turned, putting his hands in his pockets as he made his way down the street, and Josie couldn’t help but smile as he went, her heart melting slightly at how much she adored him. 

She came to her senses a moment later and realized that she had been unashamedly checking out her husband in the middle of everyone, and she blushed in embarrassment, ducking her head and quickly popping into the store. Thankfully, the lace she had seen was still in stock and she bought some for both herself and Lillian, her mind already filled with ideas of what she could make with it. She was thankful for her mother in law’s talent with a needle and thread, because the moment she had mentioned an interest in fashion and design the two were able to get along like peaches and cream. It had been the icebreaker for Josie and Lillian’s relationship, and while she had only made a few simple garments and petticoats, she knew that under Lillian’s tutelage she would be making her own frocks in no time. 

She had been so preoccupied with her new purchase that she didn’t notice Billy Andrews lingering outside of the store as she exited. 

“Josie Pye,” He said slowly, grabbing her attention. She jumped at the sound, turning quickly as her heart pounded fiercely in her chest. Her mouth went dry as she looked up at him, completely caught off guard. He chuckled, crossing his arms. “I never thought you would show your face here again.” 

“My name is Josie Tremblay now, and I was here for Anne and Gilbert’s wedding. I’m allowed to be here just as much as you are.” She explained coldly, hoping that the slight tremble she felt in her voice was undetectable to everyone else. She squared her shoulders. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going now.” 

Not wanting to spend a moment more of her time in his presence, she turned quickly and took off down the sidewalk towards where she knew Henry would be. All she needed to do was find him, and everything would be alright. 

“Are you really in such a hurry that you can’t spare a few minutes to talk to me? We parted on such a bad note-” Billy said as he followed behind her, easily keeping up with her pace. 

“I have nothing to say to you. Leave me alone.” She said sharply, not sparing a glance over her shoulder to look at him. If she was being honest with herself, she was terrified of Billy. He had proven that he could hurt her in more ways than one, and she was not going to endure his torment for a third time. 

“Well maybe I have something to say to you!” He argued, reaching out and snatching her wrist, making her lurch painfully as her arm screamed in protest from her abrupt stop. 

“Let go of me!” She shouted, clenching her jaw painful to try and hide her fear. Her palms were sweaty in her gloves, and her heart was pounding erratically against her chest as she looked around frantically. Several people were watching on, while others ignored her completely. How could they just go about their days pretending what he was doing was alright? How could they just stand by and watch like her life was some sort of greek tragedy? 

“I will when you listen to me!” Billy countered. 

“No, you will let go right now like she asked you to.” She heard someone say over her shoulder, and Josie nearly wept with relief to hear Henry’s voice. Billy looked up at the broad man and quickly let go of her, taking a step backwards. 

“Josie dear, who is this?” Henry asked as she took a step away from Billy to tuck herself behind him slightly. She took a deep breath, holding onto his arm lightly to steady herself. 

“Henry, this is Billy Andrews.” She said, trying to keep her voice level as she looked up at her husband. His eyes were trained fiercely on Billy, and she watched as his expression grew darker as the name and its significance dawned on him. 

“Ah, I see.” He said, his jaw clenching. She felt the muscles of his arm flex under her hand, and she stroked his arm softly in a vain attempt at calming him down. Though his face still remained as impassive and composed as always, she knew that there was a storm brewing just underneath the surface, and that out of all of the people on the planet, Billy Andrews would be the one to make Henry lose his composure.

“And who are you?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow at Henry, still not realizing the severity of the situation he had found himself in. Part of Josie wanted to warn him that he was playing with fire, but the other, stronger part of her wanted to see what was about to unfold. 

“Henry Tremblay,” He answered, extending a hand outwards. “I’m Josie’s husband.” 

Billy took his hand, and Josie felt a sick sense of satisfaction when he winced from how hard Henry’s grip was. It was obvious that he wanted to hurt him to some degree. 

“Is that right?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow up at him with a light chuckle. “Well, I feel sorry for you. She’s not much fun in the sack, is she?” Billy joked, reaching out to playfully swat Henry’s arm. 

Josie flinched at the movement, and that was enough for Henry to act. In the blink of an eye Billy was pressed back against the brick facade of a storefront, one of Henry’s hands wrapping around his throat as the other held him in place. People around them gasped at the sudden outbreak of violence, but no one did anything to try and stop him.

“I don’t know who you think you are, but I think you need to be put in your place. You see that woman right there? That’s my _wife.”_ Henry growled, face hovering only inches away from Billy’s as he pointed towards where Josie stood, visibly upset from the ordeal. The blond man went as pale as a ghost the second Henry had touched him, his eyes the size of dinner plates at the shock of how quickly the situation had escalated. “And you are not going to disrespect her, me, or my family by talking about her the way you just did. Do you understand me?” 

Billy hesitated, frozen in fear, and only when Henry pressed down harder on his windpipe did he nod. 

“If you think that you have any claim on her because of the crime you committed against her, then you are sorely mistaken. She belongs to no one, not even me. She is her own person first, and my wife second, and I vowed to protect her from those that might bring her harm. Do I need to act upon my vows now, Mr. Andrews? Are you going to harm my wife again? Because I’m well within my rights to skin you alive right now for what you’ve done in the past.” He continued, looking downright murderous. Billy shook his head, reaching up to where Henry’s large hand was still spread over his throat. Henry let up as he started to scramble at his throat, desperate for air, but only slightly. 

“Now, I’m going to tell you what is going to happen next, and if you can’t follow instructions we’re going to be right back where we started. Nod if you understand so far.” Henry said slowly, keeping his voice low and even, though rage simmered underneath the surface. “Good, seeing as how you aren’t intelligent enough to understand a principle so easy as the meaning of the word ‘no’, I will keep it very simple for you. First, I am going to let you go. Second, you are going to apologize to my wife for your crude statement about her, and for grabbing her a moment ago without her permission. Real men know how to keep their hands to themselves.” He said, and it was obvious that he was not just referring to the current incident. “Then, you are going to turn and get out of my sight, knowing that if you ever even so much as _look_ at Josie Tremblay again, I will put you in the ground, and I will enjoy doing it. Am I clear?” 

Billy nodded frantically, and with that Henry released the hand on his throat, grabbing hold of his arm in case he made the idiotic choice to run. He wasn’t gentle as he hauled Billy around to where Josie was standing, the woman looking positively frazzled by the whole affair. 

“Apologize.” Henry said firmly, giving Billy a small jerk to prompt his words. 

“J-Josie-” He started, only to have Henry clear his throat to stop him. 

“She isn’t your friend, Mr. Andrews. Address her properly with the respect she deserves.” He said firmly. 

“Mrs. Tremblay,” Billy said, glancing over his shoulder nervously, only continuing when Henry gave him a satisfactory nod. “I’m sorry for grabbing you, and being rude… and for everything else. Will you forgive me?” 

He looked up at her then, having been staring at the ground like the coward he was up until that point. Josie was still trembling, feeling as if she might vomit from the whole ordeal, but when her eyes locked with Billy’s and she realized that she had the upper hand over him, her nerves went away. He was scared, having been thoroughly intimidated by Henry and knowing that he was powerless against him. For the first time, after being forced into silence out of fear, Josie felt like she could stand up for herself against him. All of the pain and hurt that she experienced, all of the heartbreak and broken trust at the hands of Billy Andrews could now be vindicated. 

Henry watched over Billy’s shoulder as his wife’s whole demeanor changed right before his eyes. Where she had originally been hunched in over herself, arms wrapped defensively around her body, now she slowly straightened to her full height, holding her shoulders back and her head high as she took a step towards her abuser. She was not timid anymore, and where she had once been porcelain, she was now steel, strong and unbreakable as she stared down at him. 

Without saying a word she turned slightly and threw her elbow into his stomach, landing the blow with as much force as she could muster. Billy doubled over with a grunt, and Henry let go off him, letting him drop to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Josie took another step inwards then, towering over him as he coughed and groaned. 

“Burn in hell.” She spat, malice and righteous anger dripping from her words as she sneered down at him.

Then with little fanfare she picked up her skirts enough to draw her leg up, and then she let her foot stomp down between his legs, drawing a horrified gasp from the small crowd, only to be drowned out by Billy’s scream of pain. Unperturbed by the noise, Josie let her skirts fall back into place and without another glance at the man she took off down the street, her husband following shortly behind her. 

The pair was well down the path when Josie reached out to take hold of Henry’s arm, the realization of what she had just done hitting her full force. The blood drained from her face, turning to ice in her veins as panic replaced it. 

“Henry dear,” She said, her breath coming out in short gasps. “I-I don’t think I can stand anymore.” 

“Come here, little mouse. I’ve got you.” Henry responded softly, quickly scooping her up in his arms as her legs gave out, carrying her a little ways off the path, hiding them behind a bush as he settled them down on the ground, situating Josie in his lap. 

“Are you alright?” He asked carefully, shuffling her around slightly to free one of his hands so he could stroke her face. 

“I can’t believe I just did that.” She said, eyes wide with panic. “I could have maimed him! His family could have me arrested for that!” 

“While usually I would be very against striking a man in the family jewels, and part of me hurts a little bit having witnessed that, I think the world will be a better place if you left him infertile.” Henry said with a chuckle, leaning down to kiss her forehead gently. That drew a chuckle from the woman, and she took a long, slow inhale. 

“I wish I had done that a long time ago,” She said after a moment. “Maybe if I had kicked him where it counted when it mattered, I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble.” 

“Don’t say things such as that.” Henry said fiercely. “While I pray every day that I could take the pain you have endured away from you, I would not change a bit of it for the world, because it brought you to me.” 

“...I suppose you’re right. I quite like being your wife, you treat me far better than he ever did.” Josie admitted. “I suppose if things had not happened the way they did that I would be well on my way to being his wife, and I would have been miserable for the rest of my life.” 

“He didn’t know how much of a gift he had. I’m glad he’s as stupid as he is, because his loss was my gain, Josie Tremblay.” Henry said, stroking her face once more. 

Josie smiled then, resting one hand over his heart as she leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“At least we know he won’t be bothering me again. I’d say he’s scared of both of us now.” Josie giggled as she pulled away, jumping slightly at the loud laugh that escaped from Henry. 

“Hell, I’m a little scared of you after seeing that!” He exclaimed, and Josie couldn’t help but throw her head back and laugh at that, finally scooting out of his lap and standing up from the forest floor. Henry followed suit, and she couldn’t help but look up at the gentle giant of a man that had the privilege of calling her husband. 

From the moment they had met he had been the picture of perfection. His character was unmatched, his kindness and steadfastness unwavering towards her. He had put the reins in her hands from their very first interaction, always giving her a choice yet assuring her that he wouldn’t be cross with her if she chose the one that he didn’t want. He spent the first three months of their marriage sleeping on a cot so that she could have the space she needed. He took the brunt of his families rage at their elopement, knowing that it had been worth it to pull her from the agony she had endured in Avonlea. He never touched her unless she asked for it, and he never asked for anything in return. He stood up for her when she didn’t have the words, and held her when the world around her got to be too much. And just then, when she had come face to face with the man who had turned her life into a living hell, it was Henry Tremblay who empowered her to fight back for the first time. 

She had believed for so long that he was playing some sort of game with her, and that it would all come back and blow up in her face one day, but in that moment she realized that there had never been any game. It was as if the fog had cleared and for the first time she truly believed what he had been telling her for months without fail: he loved her, and that was that. 

She got horribly overwhelmed again as she looked up at him, stunned into silence at the revelation that dawned on her. 

“I love you.” She blurted out, eyes wide in disbelief. She looked up at him, chest heaving as she struggled to wrap her mind around the concept, so she said it again, clearer this time. “Henry Tremblay, I am madly in love with you.” 

The smile that spread across his face at her words was the most lovely thing she had ever seen, and in a blink she was wrapped up in his arms, his lips pressed insistently against hers. She gasped into his mouth, surprised that even after all of the intimacy that they had shared that Henry still had reserves of passion that she had not yet tapped into. Her whole body felt as if it had been lit on fire as she ran her fingers through his hair, completely ruining the perfect coif it had been combed into that morning, but she couldn’t bring herself to care when Henry was touching her the way he was, running his hands up and down her sides, occasionally brushing her breasts with his thumbs before sliding away back down her stomach. 

He pulled away from her after another few moments of their passionate embrace, keeping her an arms length away from him as he beamed down at her. 

“You love me.” He said, and Josie nodded, unable to keep her own grin off of her face. 

“Quite a lot, I’ve just now realized.” She said with a laugh. 

“And you’ve messed up my hair!” He exclaimed, reaching up to pat at his hair in a vain attempt to fix the damage she had done. She guffawed at such a silly worry, and she took his hands in hers to pull him back down for a kiss. “You’re lucky I love you as much I do, or else you’d be in a world of trouble right now. I never let anyone touch my hair!” He chuckled against her lips. 

“Well I hope you can continue making exceptions for your wife, big bear.” She giggled, reaching up to tousle his hair once more just to tease him. She yelped when he pinched her backside in response, gasping with mock-offense as she pulled away. 

“The nerve!” She said haughtily, keeping up the ruse up for only a moment before they both broke into a fit of laughter. Henry leaned down to kiss her once more before taking her hand in his, guiding her back to the path. 

“Come on, you silly girl. I’m sure the Blythes would be very happy to hear of how our afternoon has turned out to be.” He chuckled, leading them towards their friend’s orchard. 

“Which part? The fact that I told you I love you or that I left Billy Andrews infertile?” She asked, raising an eyebrow up at him. He laughed then, throwing his head back as he relived the moment of justice again in his head. 

“I meant the latter, but I’m sure they’ll be ecstatic to hear both pieces of news.” 

Josie just smiled then, bringing their intertwined hands up to her mouth to press a kiss to her husband’s hand, settling it back between them as she leaned her head on his arm as they made their way home. 

___________

The realization that she was in love with Henry, and that he was even more in love with her than she could ever comprehend was the assurance she needed to let her last mental block fall. 

They had barely made it back to Ottawa and into their home before Henry was pulling her into his arms and kissing her, slow and simmering with all of the passion and love they held for each other. Henry made a point of leaving a trail of clothes behind them as they made their way up to their bedroom, hoping that it would be enough to dissuade his family from interrupting a moment he had been waiting very patiently a _very_ long time for. 

“I love you, Josie Tremblay.” He murmured against her lips, holding her tightly against him as he leaned against the headboard. She smiled against his mouth, her own nerves twisting in her belly as she felt him against the apex of her legs. 

“I love you, Henry Tremblay.” She murmured back, kissing him soundly as she shifted forward, almost waiting for the anxiety of what they were about to do. But it never came, all she felt was anticipation for what she should have been experiencing all along. 

When she finally sunk down on him, joining their bodies together for the first time, it was as if the air was torn out of their lungs from the sensations that coursed through them. 

“Does it hurt?” Henry asked as he pressed his forehead against hers, his breathing ragged and his mind cloudy as he clutched onto her as if she was his lifeline. 

“A little,” She admitted, her eyes squeezed closed as she worked to steady her breathing. After a long moment she opened her eyes, reaching up to cup his cheek in her hand. “But I’m not afraid of it.” 

Her reassurance was all he needed, and after another few moments of adjustment to the new feeling, the two began to move together, pressed chest to chest and cheek to cheek as they made love as the sun set in the sky, painting their bodies with vivid color. 

__________

September faded into October, and October into November, and November into December. 

October brought the news that Ida had another little one on the way, and Josie had cried tears of joy with her sister. Ida had cried harder when Josie whispered that though she didn’t know anything yet, but with luck, Lucy and the new baby would have a cousin shortly after Ida’s was born. 

November brought a potential beau for Ruthie, a very kind boy that she went to school with that somehow made her cool, tough exterior melt just a little bit. (It reminded Josie of someone she knew and the man that had torn down every wall she had built around herself.) 

December brought the loss of both of Ethel’s front teeth, leaving her with an adorably large gap in her mouth as Christmas rapidly approached. 

December also brought a gift that Josie had been wanting for a very, very long time. 

The night was still and quiet around the Tremblays as they laid in bed together, cuddled up close. Neither of them were sleeping quite yet, but they were not resisting the tempting pull of unconsciousness that tugged at them. Josie sighed happily into Henry’s chest, warm and content as she cuddled up close to him as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Henry, dear?” She said, breaking the silence. For some reason, the moment felt right for her to tell him the news that she had been hiding for the past few weeks, having confirmed her suspicions earlier that day when she had talked with Ida about the subtle changes she had noticed in her body. 

“Yes?” He responded, pulling her closer to him to press a kiss to the top of her head. She couldn’t help but giggle quietly as she traced nonsensical patterns on his chest, a wide grin spreading over her face. 

“We’re going to have to start calling you ‘Papa Bear’ sometime next year.” She whispered, unable to keep the elation out of her voice. He clutched her tighter at her confession, and she smiled.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and she nodded, knowing he would be able to feel the movement against his chest. He laughed then, gently pulling her on top of him to hold her tightly, kissing all over her face happily. “That’s wonderful news Jo. Perhaps I should start calling you Mother Mouse, how does that sound?” 

Josie smiled, hiding her face in her husband’s chest, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She couldn’t believe what the year had held for them, how they were only a few weeks away from their first anniversary. She thought about Avonlea, and how the Christmas panto was likely only a few days away. She knew the events that occurred the year before would likely be on everyone’s minds, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care about what the people of her hometown thought about her. 

Her life wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. She still didn’t like people touching her when she wasn’t expecting it, and sometimes her temper would get the better of her and she’d say something catty to Henry and have to apologize. She had nightmares every so often, and her appetite was still not what it was before the assault. Ruthie was hot and cold with her, depending on the day, and Ethel had a bad habit of bursting into the small house with no warning- even though she had learned her lesson on knocking after interrupting them while they were doing some of their _married things_ that Ruthie had warned her about the first time Josie had visited over Easter. Her mother-in-law drove her absolutely crazy sometimes, even though she loved her dearly (she couldn’t wait to tell her about the baby, she was very ready to give her the happy news after making the poor woman wait so long) and she had a stack of unopened letters in her bedside table from her own mother that she didn’t have the courage to open yet. Maybe one day she would try to reconnect with her family, and hopefully they would acknowledge the pain and trials she had endured in order to be the woman she had become. And even if they didn’t, she knew she would be alright. She had everything she needed right there beside her, and she knew he wouldn’t be going anywhere. 

“That sounds absolutely wonderful.” She finally said, feeling happier and lighter than she had in a very long time.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Because Jenni loves me SO MUCH she drew this beautiful, beautiful picture of Henry and Josie (y'all I literally cried when she sent me this, no joke) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading Henry and Josie's story. Writing this has been incredibly fun and rewarding for me, but it was also a total bear to write, lol. 
> 
> That being said, I'm going to take a little break from this series to work on finishing some other Shirbert WIPs that I have lying around, but don't fret, because we will be back soon with the fourth installment of the Close to What I'm Needing series: Build Your Home in My Heart 
> 
> Until then, thank you so much for reading!


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